Thank you for purchasing volume thirty-seven! Those who read Jump will already know that the other day I had the opportunity to draw a self-contained work. When I did it for Jump Square I saw hell and thought “That’s enough!”, but the editors tricked me by proposing a project that almost smacks of spite: everyone has to produce one. They vilely asked me to participate, since others were doing the same.

Since it would have been worse if only I had not been able to complain with the others later on with the cry of “That experience was really hellish!”, I decided to take a position similar to that of Taro Yamamoto in the film Battle Royale by saying: “I’ve already been to hell once. It’s a first for you, huh?” … So I immediately stood at the bus stop to hell, with a big cross-shaped scar on my face and in my swimming costume, posing as a veteran: “I want to give you some advice. This is real hell… be careful!”.

However, no matter how long I waited, no one arrived and, while I was wondering if I had got off at the wrong stop, a bus arrived in front of me, or rather a huge tank that went “psssh” and moved its cannon. I took a look inside and… it was full of veterans with their bodies covered in scars! Forget about the cross on their faces, those were the sensei Osamu Akimoto, Akira Toriyama, Masashi Kishimoto, Kyosuke Usuta and Takeshi Konomi, legendary men who had apparently survived a hell unlike any I’d seen, and they were standing there smoking a cigar! It was as if I had found Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Van Damme in school uniforms, their collars turned up, while I was posing as Taro Yamamoto in Battle Royale. I immediately wiped the scrawl off my forehead and climbed into the tank, almost prostrating myself. Then I phoned my editor and complained: “This was supposed to be a bus trip through the underworld with the other authors who publish in the magazine, but I find out that only legendary authors are taking part, so it’s a legendary men’s trip in a tank!”. And furthermore, I couldn’t fit into their conversation… When I told him this, he replied that since there were so few participants, the project had been modified. Then he added: “You’re obviously not a legendary author, but it’s not appropriate to abandon a trip halfway through, so try to get away with posing as much as possible!”.

It was the formidably titled Top of the Super Legend project, but as I mentioned earlier, it involved an out-of-place gorilla like me. Phrases such as ” Are you part of the legend?”, “Try to understand the atmosphere!”, etc… But if I had known from the beginning that it was a trip of legendary authors, I would have declined the proposal with all my might. I am aware that I am not so much part of the legend as to become part of it. In this sense, I should be considered a legendary individual. Drawing a self-contained work while another one is being published in episodic form does not give you any advantage (the work schedule is disrupted). Even if everything went well, if I was told “Publish this one and leave Gintama alone!”, I’d feel down in the dumps. But being told “Keep drawing Gintama all your life!” wouldn’t make me jump for joy either… I’d end up getting depressed anyway.

However, I jumped into hell wanting to create and learn, but mostly because I wanted to make the readers happy. For a man who chose to undergo penance driven by such a pure feeling, the words, “Huh? What about you, Taro?” Or “Hey, Taro! Your swimming costume is the same as Mr. Stallone’s, you should put it on your head!” are too cruel! Taro didn’t do anything bad except for the typical “Merolin Q “* joke to give people a smile!

Instead, nothing good! The legendary men’s tank proceeded with impetus and at a tremendous speed on a bumpy road. Therefore, even though the legendary authors were smoking cigars calmly, Taro was carsick and kept vomiting into the legendary bag in a legendary manner… Really legendary!

As you know, I’m someone who completes the panels at the last minute, just in time, among those who publish in Jump. From this point of view, I’m considered a legend, or rather an anti-legend, so I could barely keep up with the others. At a certain point I realized I had jumped off the tank, thrown into an immense desert. Oh, yeah, it was the desert in the storyboard, considered… the infinite hell.

*Senseless joke that Taro Yamamoto used to make when he participated in a TV comedy show.

The reason why I complete the panels just in time – which is now legendary – is because I’m slower with the storyboard than with the drawings. The storyboard is the most important thing in a manga, because it tells you how to divide up the panels, what lines to put in, etc., and I’m slow, or rather, the fact is that I can’t get my head around it and I work on it until the very end, and I don’t feel comfortable if I don’t keep working on it until the deadline, so that I don’t have time to draw the panels.

Maybe if I’m more talented than others, it’s precisely in this. I’m not talking about storyboarding techniques, or anything like that, but the talent to stick to it! If you do that, anyone can make a decent piece of work… And I keep on elaborating on it persistently, until I reach this level, like a pathetic man trying to convince a girl in front of a couples’ hotel. It’s as if I prostrate myself completely naked in front of her, every episode. That’s the only way I can draw a manga that’s on the same level as the others. All this for a regular nineteen-page episode… So for a self-contained work of forty-nine pages, the situation is terrible. A nineteen-page episode is an easy girl, who you somehow manage to convince by feeding her, giving her a gift, and throwing yourself at her feet. But a forty-nine-page work is a girl who grew up mollycoddled and at around nine o’clock in the evening says: “Sorry, but I have to go home!”. On top of that, it was the Super Legend project, so it was more like a Shinto priestess saying, “I’m busy tonight because there’s a Shinto ablution ritual.” … An impossible feat to take her to a hotel by the hour! While I was arguing with her (“But do the ritual to me first!”), I was stopped by a policeman: “Hey, you! What the hell are you doing?Why are you completely naked?” … So it was really horrible, and having no other choice I went to an Image club*, being served by a girl dressed as a priestess. When I left the club, the clock read four days before the deadline, and I still had to draw all forty-nine pages plus a regular chapter of Gintama. That’s why I asked for a page discount, but I still had to do a nine-page chapter.

All in all, I was faced with a legendary work schedule: fifty-eight pages in four days!

*Men-only clubs where girls in cosplay offer customers erotic shows and sexual performances.

To put it simply, asking to complete fifty-eight pages in four days is the equivalent of saying “DIEEEEEEEE!”.

The time it takes to draw the pages of a manga varies from person to person. As far as I’m concerned, working normally, I can complete a page in about an hour and a half. But that applies to Gintama, which I’m used to drawing. In the case of a self-contained work, since the characters are not well defined, even calculating the shortest possible time, it takes me two hours. If I work without sleep, I can complete twelve pages a day, and at this rate I could then reach a maximum of forty-eight pages. In addition, I had been on the storyboard for more than a week, without interruption, and I was exhausted both physically and psychologically. I hadn’t slept for a few days and it was impossible for me to stay awake all night. “Sensei, it’s impossible.” … In this desperate situation, a feeling similar to resignation was about to arise in my staff. But I’m Hideaki Sorachi, a legendary anti-legendary who has exceeded three figures of gory moments on the brink of expiration!

So I proposed the theory of the triple Kaioken: “By drawing a line at three times the usual speed, the boards will also be completed three times faster. As a result, four days might seem like twelve”. So, inciting everyone’s fighting spirit, taking off my hundred-pound G pen and the equally heavy brief I used to train in, I slid the pen on, completely naked, and managed to complete nineteen pages in twelve hours. However, even if the triple Kaioken makes it three times faster, it multiplies the stress by thirty! And since I resorted to it already exhausted, the stress exploded and I began to tremble without being able to remain seated. I was drawing standing up. Then my legs started to tremble, and I ended up wandering around the room. I couldn’t keep still, when I kept quiet I felt like running all over the place shouting “Aaaaah!”.

“Someone let me kick his ass!”
“Sensei, calm down! Take a nap!”

I went to bed but I couldn’t sleep, I kept fidgeting. It was the first time I had experienced something like that since I became a mangaka.

I was in a borderline situation without being able to draw or rest as I wanted. In front of me appeared a man with a shaved head, whom I had never seen before, who spoke to me in the carefree voice of someone who can’t take in the atmosphere: “How are you?”.

Actually, I knew him: “Y-you’re… Honda?!”.
At that instant Honda slumped to the ground, spilling Jelly Belly from his mouth.
“Hondaaaaa!”
“S-Since my hair grew… I changed my appearance.”
“Don’t lie! You… by any chance…!” Yes, the deadly work schedule of fifty-eight pages in four days was the result of Honda’s efforts, who had managed to reduce Gintama to nine pages by steadily lowering his head. It still remained a murderous, if already miraculous, programme.
“Since those in high places were petulant, I shaved my head. Then they shut up. Cough! Cough!”
“Don’t talk! If you spread more Jelly Belly you’ll die! Wait! I’ll shave too!”
“D-don’t worry! Compared to your suffering, being bald is nothing, Sorachi sensei! Sorry I couldn’t postpone the deadline! Cough! Cough!”
Honda was more broken up than I was. In fact… it was as if I had shaved his head with a clipper.

They say that a mangaka and his editor are one body and one soul, but there’s no reason why he should experience the same suffering as me because of a bald head.
“I’ll never forgive those editorial staff!”. Blaming everyone on them, I picked up the pen again. I hadn’t slept for a few days, I was exhausted both physically and morally, and completely naked after having taken off my G-nib and my brief, both of which weighed a hundred kilos, but I couldn’t thwart the miraculous work schedule that my editor, that is, my alter ego, had torn up by balding himself and thus depriving himself of the chance to go to a Village Vanguard shop that he likes so much! I wasn’t the only one suffering, Honda had made me realize.
“Not just me!”
FLAAP
“Mr. Sorachi! That… isn’t that…?!”

A hundred-pound wig had just fallen to the floor…

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 96

QUESTION FROM MR. “GREAT FRIEND (LAUGHTER)”

Every episode of the manga always ends at the right point.  Do you ever find yourself missing pages or running out? How do you fix things on those occasions?

ANSWER:

It almost never happens that I have pages left over, but it often happens that there aren’t enough pages available. In that case I try to fit everything in by shrinking the cartoons, and when I can’t, I eliminate some of them, sometimes excluding the whole page… In short, it’s like doing a puzzle. For a self-contained manga, it’s the hardest thing… Kochikame* is monstrous in that sense.

*Abbreviation for the title of the comic Kochira Katsushika-ku Kameari koen-mae hashutsujo, which lasted for forty years.

The “Sorry, Jelly Belly” special ends here. I’ve written for a long time, but I think you can see how many men fight desperately, shedding tears and blood, to complete a self-contained work. In fact, I am almost always the one who makes many cry tears and blood… But this time I went too far, I disturbed so many people that it didn’t seem real. It was like I was playing Dynasty Warriors. Apart from Honda, I apologize to everyone.

However, I too have been in a terrible state, my life has certainly been shortened by at least three years. I even fainted once, so at least for that reason, please accept my apologies. Then, even though Honda shaved his head, he already had very short hair. In addition, he forced me to participate in the project using a swindler’s trick. So he’s to blame as well. Let’s call it even, since we all suffered together, okay?

By the way, I’ve been reduced to this despite being given a two-week break. The authors who participated in the Legend project published their self-contained works as if it were a normal thing, without taking breaks or breaking deadlines…

LEGEND AUTHORS ARE FORMIDABLE!

New topic: “I should have waited another hundred years”.

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Thank you for purchasing the 36th volume! The other day I went to a wedding. Since it was summer, I was dying of heat, it was thirty-five degrees… So, I celebrated the wedding all sweaty, as if I had gone to do some Mongolian sumo! Of course, I was thirsty, so I drank beer, and before I knew it, I was surrounded by the bride and groom’s relatives. In the end, I thought I was really going to do sumo, but they said, “You’re Gori… uh, Sorachi sensei, right?” and asked for my autograph. But I can’t draw without an outline, because I’m inexperienced. Still, I had to, and having no other choice I tried to get away with something simple, telling the people who asked me to draw Gin-san, “Better Elizabeth, right?”. But because I was drunk, the lines were uneven and Elizabeth looked like a character I’d never seen or heard of… Seeing him, one wondered: “Is it Venezuela?”. It created a situation where people wondered if I was really Sorachi, or said, “Hey, some animal escaped from a zoo” … So, they all walked away. At one point, I noticed that there was only a three-year-old boy standing next to me. He just stood there, silent, even though I asked him: “What do you want me to draw? (Say Elizabeth!)”. He kept staring into space with teary eyes. Then, from behind, a little girl of about five years old appeared, probably his older sister, who acted as an interpreter to explain to me what he wanted. I certainly couldn’t go home like that (you never know who might tweet ‘That gorilla has just left after only doing a bit of Mongolian sumo’), and after making all those mistakes. I absolutely had to get this last drawing right. I was psychologically ready: “At this point, I’ll draw any character, whether it’s Gin-san or Takasugi! I’ll show you the skills of a professional! Ask anything!”

AND THE SISTER ASKED FOR ANPANMAN…

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 92

QUESTION FROM MISS “I LOVE GIN-SAN AND KATSURA” OF CHIBA PROVINCE

Shinpachi is smart, isn’t he? Those whose role is to criticize others cannot perform their duties if they are not quick-witted, right?

ANSWER:

I get the impression that Shinpachi seems intelligent simply because those around him are too stupid, but actually… he’s very intelligent. When I was in primary school, there was a guy named Kakuta in my class. One day I looked at his face and noticed that he had a clearly swollen and reddened circle around his mouth. When I asked what had happened to him, he said that the previous day he’d gone too far while sucking air out of a glass and sticking it to his mouth… it wouldn’t come off. So Shinpachi is three times more intelligent than Kakuta.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 93

QUESTION FROM MR. “I’M GOING TO SEE THE MOVIE WITH FRIENDS” FROM KYOTO PROVINCE

Why is there no character song for Gintama? It seems to me that the natural order is: manga → anime character song → (video games) → movie. Or is there something wrong with the characters in this opera singing?

ANSWER:

An Otsu CD has come out, and it seems to have been quite successful. Thank you. It’s not that I don’t like character songs, it’s just that among my characters it’s hard to get someone to sing because others want them to. The fact that they ask for a song that describes themselves is pretty absurd, and I think they might break the mic. That’s why there is no character song. However, if it’s a character who wants to sing, like Otsu, some song could also be made. For example, if need be, for the Vacuum!

An album with a Vacuum song on the A-side, a Nogusoel song on the B-side and Katsurap as a bonus track… That would be great!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 94

QUESTION FROM MR. “SINCE I CAN’T REFUSE OTHER PEOPLE’S REQUESTS, I PUT AWAY A COCKROACH AND BURIED A RABBIT’S SKELETON, BUT AS A GOOD-NATURED PERSON I REFUSED TO REMOVE THE FROG DROWNED IN URINE FROM THE TOILET”.

Sorachi sensei, I’m writing to you for the first time. I’m talking about something that has no importance whatsoever… I’m shy, and since you claim to be too, I want to ask your advice. A few years ago I went out to eat ramen with my parents, I was strangely euphoric and entered the restaurant dancing for no particular reason. I was ashamed, but I also thought that no one had seen me. So, after eating, I went home and went to bed. The next day at school, a classmate said to me, “You used to dance like that, didn’t you?”, imitating my dance in front of the whole class. I felt so ashamed that every time I see that club, that memory comes back to me and I feel like I’m writhing around spitting blood and shouting “ghaaaaah!”. What should I do to forget?

ANSWER:

In my opinion – and I have thirty-one years of shyness behind me – since you came in dancing in a club, you are not shy. You have the talent of a street performer! Train now in “ramen dancing” and become a respectable street performer!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 95

QUESTION BY MR. JUNZABURO OF OKAYAMA PROVINCE

This is the first time I’ve written to you, Sorachi sensei! I like to draw, but I can’t make the hair shine… Teach me how!

ANSWER:

In Gintama. for the gloss and the parts to be painted completely black, I use a pen with a brush tip, the Pentel one with an extra-fine tip. The secret is to always picture the direction of the hair.

For a beginner like you, I recommend drawing the lines with a pencil. After that, you pass the pen over the shiny, colourless parts, forming serrated strips. Be careful not to form these fine indentations when you “detach” the tip, but when you “start” to colour.

At the moment of “detaching”, once you have finished colouring, it is difficult to control the movement of the brush. This is why there is a risk of messing up the direction of the hair. However, when you “start” colouring, it is easier to control the movement of the brush, and you can calmly choose the lines to draw.

However, the movement of the brush is from top to bottom (painting from bottom to top is difficult, try to avoid this). When you have to paint the top of the sheet, turn it upside down instead of moving the brush backwards.

And in any case, imagine the direction of the hair… that’s the most important thing!

SO SAY MY ASSISTANTS.

So I drew Anpanman.

While I was doing that, the kid’s sister criticized me: ‘The symbol in the chest must not have a nose on it!’… Of course! I’m not the Anpanman guy! I’d rather have Takeshi Yanase sensei’s autograph! But I somehow finished off Anpanman with a shaky hand because of the alcohol and gave the shikishi to the kid. Then he started crying his eyes out….

“NOOO! THAT’S NOT IT!”

Of course, I’m not the Anpanman guy. Mine had irregular features and looked like it might secrete adzuki bean pesto at any moment.

Kid, I’m sorry for disappointing you! And to you, Takeshi Yanase sensei, I apologize for destroying a little boy’s dream! I, Hideaki Sorachi, vow to work hard to become a respectable mangaka, capable of not only drawing any character without sketches, but also Anpanman!

New topic: “The symbol in the chest must not have a nose on it!”

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Thank you for buying Gintama 35!

Jump‘s readership has changed a bit lately… when I read fan letters, I see phrases like, “Lately your work has been getting published towards the end, don’t you think that’s something to worry about?” or “The anime is already over and you’ve left the safe zone.” … In short, there are more and more people who have blatantly read Bakuman and are familiar with the background of Jump‘s editorial staff… The “Bakuman Addicts”. But that’s just digging their heels in! Rather, how is it that they have so little faith in me despite the fact that I have been publishing Gintama for six years? Is this the reason why, despite the film adaptation, the manga is not considered brilliant? Anyway, I apologize for all these worries, but it’s okay. Gintama is fine, and it hasn’t even lost its popularity yet. At worst it may happen from now on. But that’s not what worries me… Quite frankly, the order of publication is of no importance. Except for the most popular work, the others move according to the magazine’s convenience: sometimes north to Hokkaido, sometimes south on a tuna boat. Before the north/south issue, the problem is that the ship on which Gintama boarded may have entered illegally! Gintama keeps violating the borders called deadlines! On top of that, despite having a mid-level popularity, its criminal career is top-notch in Jump, super S level with a bounty attached. It arrives a day later than the one who delivers before it… In short it is a chickenshit who every time crosses the border at the last with a slip. Being sent north or south doesn’t matter, because the fact that it has managed to arrive in the country called “Jump” is already a miracle. It is every time. And this is because, against all expectations, surveillance at the border is poor. For example, while the guards play with DS, I cross the border. Or, while they give Rinko* a kiss, I kiss the border and say “Kiss me, baby“.

The deadline is inflexible, but lately, the typography has been modernized, so it has been brought forward by a good five hours! The borders have thinned out and the guards, who used to be so nice, have turned into cyborgs that are not at all elastic! I mean, it’s like entering the gates of hell now, where they’ll shoot you dead as soon as they find you…

*Character from a DS game.

You may think it’s not such a big deal that the deadline was moved up by five hours, but in my case it was already a miracle to make it in time earlier, a miracle comparable to Yamcha killing the saibaman. Bringing it forward by five hours makes it equal to a miracle in which Oolong defeats Frieza, which is almost impossible! For Gintama these five hours were vital.

The other writers all finish a day earlier than me, so Frieza, ignoring the other warriors, including Goku and Piccolo, can come in and kill the pig that the scouter caught.

Kinda freaks you guys out, doesn’t it? It seems to be saying: Since the movie has already passed, we want to get rid of that pig that we don’t need anymore, dear Dodoria!

But I couldn’t let myself be killed without doing anything!

It was decided that Nakasaki Elite, with whom I had fought, would have to leave his post. Until then, we had worked miracles together, and to suffer a defeat at the end would be too sad. So to give him one last miracle, by undergoing three years of training in the spirit and time room with him, Oolong, that’s me, learned to transform into Yamcha! In the Frieza vs. Yamcha challenge, Yamcha doesn’t stand a chance, but still does everything he can, defeating one after another of the cyborgs in the guardhouse with the Wolf Fang Fist. Finally in front of Frieza, assuming the deadline at midnight, at that moment it is already 23:56. His right arm is broken at 23:57, and even the long hair he’s so proud of is ripped off; then Vegeta steals Bulma from him at 23:58; at 23:59 he is crushed by the pain of Trunks’ birth; then, the Wolf Fang Fist delivered in anger shatters Frieza’s genitals at midnight… The miracle has happened again! Yamcha savours the joy of victory together with Elite. But at that moment, behind them, the ground rises and something sticks to Yamcha’s back.

“Y-you are… a saibaman!”

The saibaman self-destructs involving him at 00.02.

When Elite arrived at the print shop, after taking a taxi and holding onto the boards, the hands of the clock were mercilessly marking two minutes past midnight. As I’ve written before, this time the deadline was not flexible… Even though it was only two minutes, since I, or rather Yamcha, had not kept to the appointed time, his defeat was decreed. Unfortunately, no miracle. “In the end I didn’t make it…”, so Yamcha let himself be overcome with despair. But in that moment he realizes that his body is unharmed, and that, beyond the smoke, he is slumped on the ground with his body torn apart. The instant the Saibaman exploded, he resorted to the supreme technique… a miracle in exchange for his pride: a written apology!

Having said that, in the end I gave élite a miracle, or rather a written apology… in the end he had to apologise in writing despite having graduated from T. University and despite having been a member of élite since childhood and never having been reprimanded by his teachers. In the teledrama Abunai Deka*, Taka and his colleagues are forced to write them, and the elite, who are not dangerous at all, had to do the same!

Anyway, I asked him immensely for forgiveness, but the attached poop doesn’t come off anymore. I apologize to élite and T. University! It’s not Elite’s fault, nor the university’s… nor mine. It’s all Yamcha’s fault! I told him to watch out for saibamen! How many times must that fool fall for it?! In any case, thanks to the deadly technique hurled by elites at the risk of their own lives, Gintama finally overcame his greatest crisis. Only the consequences were severe… For example, when I went to the anime’s conclusion party, as soon as I arrived, I was kidnapped by the editor-in-chief, deputy editor-in-chief, and the publishing house executives, and I was lynched for over an hour. While I was being lynched for over an hour, Elite was looking at me smiling… as radiant as ever.

Élite, I’m really glad I finally gave you an awesome present!

*Literally, “The Dangerous Police Officers”.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 92

QUESTION BY MS. YUI SORASE, KANAGAWA PROVINCE

In the 158th Lesson, to Yamazaki who came to brag about his new sword (the Osafune M-II), one of the Shinsengumi says: “It seems that for now the elegant samurai of Shibuya all have an Osafune!” … But with the Haitorei edict, can “elegant samurai” have a sword without any problems?

ANSWER:

As I probably described in the manga, even though the Haitorei edict is in effect, Bakufu officials are allowed to carry a sword. In short, I meant the stylish officials who have fun in Shibuya.

Well, the 35th volume special “Apologies to Elite” ends here. Forgive me truly for all the trouble, Nakasaki! Know that your written apology was not in vain. Your words were also imprinted on my soul, and I was able to take my revenge in the challenge against Frieza I faced with my new editor Jelly Belly Honda, a man who once aspired to be a novelist, and who arrived carrying his first work The Jelly Belly Over Paper! The deadline was midnight, but Jelly Belly came rolling into the printer at 23:59.

00:02 to 23:59! See how much I’ve matured?! I even took advantage of the minute I had left to pick up the jelly belly that had fallen out of my pocket with composure. That’s it, that tragedy will never happen again! I will never drop the jelly belly over the written apology! Nakasaki, I will perpetuate your miracle, and thank you for taking care of me, even if only for a short while.

Blessed be the elites and the university T!

New topic: ‘The jelly belly over the written apology’.

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Thank you for purchasing Gintama 34!

I think you guys are starting to find the hype about the upcoming movie annoying these days in Japan, so I won’t mention it at all! I won’t even write the “M” in the word “movie”, and to the movie staff I say: don’t think everyone can keep flattering you forever by talking about the movie! How dare you allow yourself to be interviewed by Quick Japan magazine posing as a protagonist? What is the interview between directors Fujita and Takamatsu? I should be interviewed too, you idiots! I should get a good interview too, you fools! Why interview the former and current editors, Onishi, Saito and Nakasaki?! They should contact me, damn idiots! They should flatter me more, you bloody idiots! Besides, what does “The new interpretation of the Benizakura saga” mean? They’re putting on airs by putting such a title when it’s just a rehash of an already published story. It would be enough to reread the volumes! Why is it necessary to pay more? What is…? Is this film worth seeing just because new scenes have been added? No way! They just tacked on new scenes at random… what? Thanks to the collaboration of Hideaki Sorachi, the author of the original work, the new scenes fit together well? No way… with the excuse of the meeting, I was just throwing up in a pub! Why would I offer them my help…? Their screenplay was so perfect that I didn’t need to… It was convenient, since it was accompanied by a short film… how should I put it… I think that even people who’ve already followed that saga will be able to enjoy it… What?! I’m not praising the movie at all! I-I don’t like it at all! And I have nothing to do with it! I’ve got my circle activities, and also I’m making my friends wait… So I’m leaving!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 89

QUESTION FROM MR. “NEWLY AWAKENED SERIOUS AMANTO” OF GUNMA PROVINCE

I’ve always cared about this fact: if Gin-san and Katsura work so hard, why is Takasugi sitting on a pleasure boat with a cabin? I can’t stop thinking about it, so tell me why!

ANSWER:

He gets money by forcing his followers to do evil deeds. By the way, he’s a rich kid who grew up in a wealthy family.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 90

QUESTION FROM MR. “I ONLY LICK LOLLIPOPS BOUGHT FROM A CHEAP SNACK SHOP”, FROM KUMAMOTO PROVINCE

Good morning, Dancer Sorachi sensei! The other day I played kabaddi with my friend Yokoyama, but since we couldn’t understand the rules, we stopped right away. Then I thought about it for three days and three nights, but I couldn’t understand the game. Please explain to me how it works!

ANSWER:

ON THE FOURTH DAY YOU WILL SUCCEED.

Volume 34 special, “I don’t like the movie at all…”, ends here.

I apologize for all this publicity! Seriously, this is the last time, I won’t do it again, so forgive me! From the next volume, an indifferent, sour and rocking Gintama will be back, who won’t advertise neither the anime nor the movie, because it doesn’t give them any importance and it’s satisfied only if the monographic volumes sell well! Keep that in mind!

Except that the movie is also very rockin’, so I guess it’s irresistible to you rock ‘n’ rollers… I’m not telling you to watch it, but at least pay the ticket to the cinema and go out after spitting in their faces! You can even buy gadgets and then hurl them at a wall! Whatever it is, spend a lot of money, just get it to me! There’s the rock!

At least I think so…

New topic: “Rock will never die.”

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Thank you for purchasing the 33rd volume! In the short time I haven’t followed it, the Gintama anime, with which I shared the battlefield, died fighting, heroically. Hmm, more like… it’s on hiatus… Anyway, it ended. And that’s causing various reactions. Even if you tell me “Don’t do it!”, “Why did it end?”, I wouldn’t know what to answer, even though I realize the importance of the anime. However, I think it’s wrong to grieve over it, you should instead applaud the middle-aged men who created it and really put in the effort! Forcing them to make an anime out of a not-so-serious manga like Gintama was like condemning them to be beheaded, so for the mere fact that they put in the effort until now, we should thank them. Of course, their great feat was made possible thanks to the blood transfusion and the support you all gave them…

Thank you! It’s nobody’s fault, in fact, the fault is mine, that I didn’t invent any deadly techniques, that I refused a fighting video game and various gadgets. If you want to kill someone, take me out using any killing technique you want. But it’s too late… Even at volume 33, it’s not possible for a middle-aged man like me to suddenly come up with a killing technique. I really beg your pardon… but let me say one thing: for Touch, we can say that the real story begins when Kazuya disappears. Well, unlike Kazuya, Tatsuya doesn’t appear in such situations, and he’s not drawn with much care either. It’s even a nuisance to read his lines! Kazuya had a stylish hairdo with a parting in the middle, while Tatsuya has his hair all messed up. But he’ll be the one to make Minami happy for her brother too and take her to the Koshien! I swear on Kazuya’s hairstyle and Nitta’s scruffy hair!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 87

QUESTION BY MR. GDS OF GUNMA PROVINCE

Regarding the Tsu Terakado Admirers Corps, whose commander is Shinpachi, why is it called that?

ANSWER:

Maybe young people today don’t know this, but the Idol fans of yesteryear, like Seiko Matsuda, were tougher individuals than the supporters of sports teams! They were like guards protecting their Idols, and were actually called that. All in all, it means that Shinpachi and his friends are part of such a hardened group of fans.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 88

QUESTION FROM MS SAORI TAMURA, IBARAKI PROVINCE

What job could someone who’s bad at drawing do to support a mangaka? I guess editor…

ANSWER:

NO, THE READER.

What a great joke!
Excuse me, but it’s great!

I know I’m being rude if I repeatedly shout that he’s dead, but there’s still a movie! So, Kazuya might come back and give birth to “Katsuya” with the hairline on one side. I mean, a miracle could happen… In fact, with everyone’s strength, we’ll give birth to Katsuya! In order to make it happen, if all the Minamis and Minamis around the country could come and see the parting in the middle made by Kazuya with all their strength, I would be really grateful! Nitta, you come too, without shame!

PLEASE!

New topic: “It doesn’t look real, but that’s Gintama“.

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Thank you for purchasing the 32nd volume! Lately, I’ve been having episodes that are inappropriately timed, and I’ve been feeling embarrassed because impossible things have been happening one after the other at such times. It happened to me some time ago that, after drawing an episode using a character from the show, he committed a misdeed… But now that I’ve drawn a story about cats, my assistant “I”‘s cat died. And when I drew the episode about hemorrhoids, “I” was taken to the hospital by ambulance because his hemorrhoid condition worsened. As if to say… something always happens to “I”. Every time I pick up the pen in my hand, “I” gets hurt. It’s as if my “G” pen exists to be driven into “I”‘s hemorrhoidal lump rather than to draw. “I” is increasingly broken, a Death Note-like situation has arisen, and it seems that “I” lately suspects that I am Kira. So, every day his back is bent more and more, and by now “I” has become “L”. To my eyes, all the assistants have curved backs, as well as some connection to the FBI. It’s as if both my assistants and my editor, and the readers themselves, suspect that it was me who exploded the haemorrhoidal lump in “I”. And, under the circumstances, I’m beginning to think that I’m not drawing, Gintama, but Nodule Hemorrhoid Note.

Wanting to set the record straight, first of all I’d say that the hemorrhoidal lump is like a companion (i.e. a Yasufumi Terawaki*) for a mangaka destined to work sitting down all the time. He’s an annoying bastard that’s hard to hate. Collaborating while keeping Terawaki under control, who is a rascal and easily loses control… This is behavior worthy of a respectable mangaka, indeed worthy of Yutaka Mizutani**. In the case of “I”, he thought his was like Terawaki, but he turned out to be more of a Hiroshi Tachi***, aka a more dangerous companion. The one from “I” left riding a Harley, but it’s either Hiroshi’s fault or the Harley Davidson’s, certainly not mine. If his companion had been Hiroshi, “I” would have had to play the part of Kyohei Shibata****, but he tried to be Yutaka Mizutani. That’s why there was tragedy.

In other words, I had nothing to do with it, it was just inappropriate timing. The same goes for the cat, Pu, who left at the worst possible time. It was also painful for me to have a grieving “I” draw cats saying, “I don’t want to think about the cat anymore!”. Chappy, my parents’ dog, came to mind and I cried. After all, Pu had been close to him for a good eighteen years, only that companion… didn’t he mistake him for someone else again? Was it really Yasufumi Terawaki?

*Japanese actor who took part in the TV series Aibo, meaning “Comrade”.
**Another Aibo actor.
***Japanese actor who took part in the teledrama Abunai Deka, or “Dangerous Cops”.
****Another actor from Abunai Deka.

Crying, “I” drew the cats with the secondary roles. Of course, I was more lenient in checking his work, I wanted to free him from pain as soon as possible. I could no longer reject his drawings, indeed there was no need to do so. Since he had always stood by his cat, I told him to draw some respectable cats dedicating the work to his companion who had ascended to heaven. So, the result is this…

Dear “I”… how should I put it… it looks like they all have a slightly protruding jaw. In fact… they look more like Ken Shimura when he says “Aiin” than your comrade Yasufumi Terawaki… Or do they?

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 86

QUESTION FROM MR OKITA & KAGURA LOVE

Both Kagura and Kamui have a lot of appetite, but is it just them or all of Yato?

ANSWER:

They’re all gluttons. The Yato are endowed with great strength, but they also consume a lot of energy, so they have a different idea of energy supply than earthlings. However, the two of them are the ones who eat the most.

MY GOODNESS, WHAT QUALITY!

And so, the “Hemorrhoid nodule Note” special ends here… Dear FBI gentlemen, you now understand that the series of tragedies in question happened not because of the hemorrhoid nodule Note, but because he had the wrong partner, right? When Hiroshi Tachi is his partner, he must be Kyohei Shibata, while when Ken Shimura is, he must be Cha Kato. I guess this mistake crashed into his anus and caused a big explosion… But Pu’s death was no one’s fault. Since he lived for a good eighteen years, we can say that he passed away peacefully. Only in the end, he was drawn with a face that seems to say “Aiin”. But listen, dear “I”, it’s true that cats all look like they have slightly protruding jaws and look like Ken Shimura, but that time when you tearfully completed your job as an assistant, you were a respectable mangaka! So you don’t have to grieve! You’re not alone, just run and look ahead together with your companion, namely Pu, who’s watching over you from his ass, who is not Terawaki, nor Hiroshi, nor Shimura…

New topic: “Let’s pray for Pu with folded hands”.

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Thank you for buying the 31st volume! So, thanks to the support you’ve given me, it’s been decided to make Gintama into a movie! To tell you the truth, my editor had told me about this film adaptation a long time ago, but it’s been a really long road to get here, it’s been two or three years since I heard about this idea. I was waiting, waving my yellow handkerchief like Chieko Baisho, but Ken Takakura never came back… No one knows what he was doing or where he was…*. At first I just thought he was lost, or didn’t know how to do well in life, but at some point my editor started not even pronouncing the “M” in movie, starting to give off an aura that seemed to mean there was never such a proposal. So time passed, and the handkerchief became soiled with crow droppings. When even Baisho got soiled, forgetting all about that guy with a military cut, he finally came back. Our situation is comparable, and honestly I feel more anxiety than joy… They all pretended that the proposed transposition never happened. Once Ken had an accident, completely destroying his car… nothing but a military cut, his lower body was completely cut off, and he must have died once. It’s natural that I’m afraid, because you never know when Ken might have an accident again and run after Kaori Momoi** abandoning Baisho…

*reference to the movie Shiawase No Kiiroi Hankachi or The Yellow Handkerchief
**Japanese actress.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 82

QUESTION FROM MR. “I CAN’T ERASE THE JUST AWAY SCRIBBLED IN THE NOTEBOOK ANYMORE BECAUSE I THINK IT’S CUTE”, FROM THE TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA

Since there are often scenes of Gin-san as a child studying under Shoyo sensei, I can tell that he was with Katsura and Takasugi… But when they were fighting, Sakamoto also joined them. Did he also study with the others? Or did he meet them in another way? I’m very curious about that…

ANSWER:

Three people studied under Shoyo sensei: Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi. Sakamoto is one of their comrades-in-arms whom they met later on, while they were waging war against the foreigners.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 83

QUESTION FROM MR. SORACHI HIDEAKI_TAMA OF TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA

There’s something that’s been on my mind forever: where does Gin-san usually watch porn videos? I guess he can’t at his house because of Kagura…

ANSWER:

Try asking your dad, he knows.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 84

QUESTION FROM MR SAITO OF IWATE PROVINCE

This is a question from a brat who has nothing to do with you, Sorachi sensei! Lately there have been a few scenes where Sadaharu appears… Do you hate him, sensei? What is your opinion of him?

ANSWER:

I think if you have a dog at home you can understand… Usually you don’t notice your dog’s presence much. It’s like… you suddenly realize the importance of its existence, or of having it next to you, when you feel sad and want to cry. I wanted to express this atmosphere, the bond between him and his master, which seems subtle but is actually deep. I mean, it’s so…

Sorry, I just forgot to draw him.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 85

QUESTION FROM MR. MUTAITO, ISHIKAWA PROVINCE

I have an uncle between thirty-five and forty years old (a Madao). The other day, when that Madao came to see me, he slept in my room. In the middle of the night, at about 2:00 a.m., he unleashed a Mafuba* on me with all his might, while being completely naked. Sorachi sensei, help him!

ANSWER:

I think it’s too late now. Try to seal your uncle up by pushing back his blow with all your might, stripping completely naked. It’s sad to have to tell you this… but I think this is the best thing you can do for him.

*Technique that appears in Dragon Ball.

That said, volume 31, the “Special on the Yellowed Handkerchief of Happiness”, ends here. Well, since there are reasons that only adults can understand, until the end we never know what will happen to these kinds of proposals. Only if you, the readers, wait for us will something happen, that is to say, if you say you want to wait for our return by raising a yellowed handkerchief in the sky, we will surely come to bring you that film… or rather happiness, overcoming any difficulty and having that handkerchief as a reference!

Good luck to all the Chieko Baisho’s in the world who are waiting for happiness!

New topic: “Best wishes for the film!”.

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Thank you for purchasing the 30th volume!
That said, I’ve made it this far, to the thirtieth…. At thirty! Both the manga and its author have reached an age when one smells like an old person… I was nervous before I turned thirty, but I was convinced that I would remain rather impassive. However, the other day when I picked up a card for the points collection, I was stunned… I had to put a ‘3’ in the age space! I almost shouted: “What does this mean? What is this number? Who is this uncouth transfer student from another school?”. Until recently I was writing “2” in such an elegant way, but now I will never be able to meet that number again, that elegant age will never return. For the next ten years I will have to deal with “3”, made up of two unrefined protuberances. I was trying to resist with all my might, I was about to collapse and I couldn’t move from the box. Why “3” … What does “3” mean? Are you kidding? “ω” sounds like a butt! But “m” sounds like a butt waiting for a suppository. “3” is a butt waiting for a suppository. No matter how you try to resist, there’s no escaping the butt! I can’t take it anymore! Somebody help me! Rather than starting with “3”, “4” is much better. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9… Look, of these numbers, “3” is the crudest, isn’t it? The other numbers I can see what they’re trying to do, they have a clear goal. Some want to be sharp or rounded, some want to be a bit roguish (with both elements). But only “3” looks like a third-year student who hasn’t yet decided what to do after graduating despite being in his third term. He hasn’t decided whether he wants to be round, pointy or square. He’s like someone who says naive things like, “I want to be a dancer, but for now I’ll do odd jobs.” … Moreover, he does things just to show off when in fact he has failed to become an ‘8’. He tries to hide it with all his might fearing he’ll be hurt, he’s given up halfway through… That’s no good!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 76

QUESTION FROM MR. “YOU WON’T DIE EVEN IF YOU DON’T STUDY IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!” FROM MIYAGI PROVINCE

Master Sorachi, in volume 15, you were asked where Gintama was going, and you answered in vain, saying that around volume 20, you’d catch a glimpse of your goal! Now that we’re on the thirtieth volume… have you begun to glimpse the goal?

ANSWER.

Judging by the nickname, this letter was sent by someone who’s in the middle of his rebellious period! The theme of Gintama has been obvious for some time now, since about the twenty-first volume it keeps leaking out and seeping in. I think all other readers but you have already noticed… that’s just it, isn’t it, guys? Elizabeth’s calves are done that way, all in all that’s the theme… how embarrassing! If you read the manga normally, you should have figured it out… as you say, even if you don’t study in middle school you won’t die, but if you don’t you’ll never understand Gintama.

That said, for now, study with all your might without sulking! You have to do what’s possible for you now, otherwise you’ll become an irresponsible adult like me! If you continue to study, you’ll surely be able to understand this work. Is that alright, Madam… er, Mother?

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 77

QUESTION FROM MR. JIJI, MIYAZAKI PROVINCE

Good morning! Excuse me for writing something like this out of the blue, but Mr. Nakasaki Élite’s comment, published in the 2009 issue 30 of the weekly Shonen Jump, made me very curious. “I soiled the gift for Sorachi sensei from the staff of the Gintama anime… Never drink, never!” … But what happened?

ANSWER:

Once a year I drink with the anime staff. Well, basically we don’t even want to see each other’s faces, because we’re all sweaty middle-aged men, but since it only happens once, we all drink while frowning. So, because my birthday is coming up, they bring me a present, and élite, as soon as it arrives, gets it dirty. You’re all thinking of vomit, but it wasn’t such a pretty episode… and the present wasn’t pretty either: an inflatable wife. Our elite, drunk, soiled her… Everything was filthy from the start, the gift, the staff, elite. The only clean one was Sorachi sensei.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 78

QUESTION BY MR. “NOW I’M LOOKING AT SAZAE-SAN” FROM HIROSHIMA PROVINCE

Sorachi sensei, did you have to struggle because your family opposed your moving to Tokyo, or did they give you permission easily against all odds? I would like to draw and go to Tokyo someday too, but my mother says I can’t. Tell me your story…

ANSWER:

Even if you don’t go, you can still draw. On the contrary, you don’t necessarily become a mangaka just because you go to Tokyo. For a job like mine, almost like a gambler’s job since you don’t know if you’ll be able to make a living or not, it’s hard to get the understanding of the people around you. However, if you want it from your family, it’s best to get some results by actually doing something before revealing your dream of “wanting to go to Tokyo and become a mangaka”. No one would listen to the words of a person who hasn’t made any effort or achieved any results. The advantage of being a mangaka is that you can draw anywhere, so you might be able to submit them to some contest. As an aspiring mangaka, you don’t have to think about Tokyo or becoming an author’s assistant, but about drawing. When you get some results, like when you win an award or get an editor to follow you, other people will understand your efforts too. I think that’s how it is. And then maybe a different response will come from your family. Nowadays, going to Tokyo doesn’t count for much, so get busy!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 79

QUESTION FROM MR. DANCING WIND WHOOSH OF OSAKA PROVINCE

Hello, Sorachi sensei! Why are you so good at drawing middle-aged men?

ANSWER:

BECAUSE I’M ONE OF THEM.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 80

QUESTION FROM MS. I ♡ SOUGO & YUZU, HYOGO PROVINCE

I have a question for Sorachi sensei! Gin-san and Okita are super S. I want to become super S too, what should I do? I’m S, and while I’m at it…

ANSWER:

This postcard was sent to me along with a picture of an older sister and her brother with bright, naive eyes that look like they’re primary schools age. So… I get it, you want to be super S… Um, yeah… Well I ♡ Sougo, you um… do you understand what “S” means? The phrase “I’m S” means you’re a student, right? “I’d like to be super S” means you’d like to be a super student, i.e. a formidable schoolgirl, right? I used this term in that sense. You understand this fact, right? So listen, dear I ♡ Sougo, you must do the following: first of all, you must not tell your mother where you learned this word, then you must hide Gintama in the deepest part of your desk drawers, and you must never mention the name “Sorachi”… you must eliminate it from your brain! Also, from now on, you must absolutely refrain from talking about S or M as if you were at a gokon*. Am I not right, elite? It’s not OK to talk about things like that! Only if you can do what I’ve said will you be a respectable super student! Oh, and don’t let your mother see this page (even if your postcard is published). If you show it to her, I’ll deprive you of the title of super S… Please!

*Organized meeting between multiple single men and women who don’t know each other.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 81

QUESTION FROM MR YAMAMOTO OF SHIZUOKA PROVINCE

Hello, Sorachi sensei! I’d like to ask you a question right away: Leukocyte King looks like Gin-san because he mirrors his image, right? But why doesn’t he have dead eyes?

ANSWER:

Tama chose Gin-san as the model for Leukocyte King because he gives the impression of being the strongest among the people around her. It’s not that she accepts everything about Gin-san, but he represents strength. Since Tama doesn’t approve of his character, Leukocyte King is a completely different individual from Gin-san.

Well… I have the feeling that the road in the next ten years, in which I’ll have to continue with the unrefined “3”, will be very hard both for Gintama and for me…

I’d like to move forward with firm conviction, so that it doesn’t become a manga similar to that issue where it’ s not clear whether it wants to be a dancer or an “8”. That’s how I feel, so I promise you:

I WILL BECOME A DANCER!

New topic: “Thank you for supporting 30 volumes!”.

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Thank you for buying the 29th volume! Some time has passed in Japan since the previous one, and in the meantime the editor in charge has been replaced. So Mr Saito, a rugby player as romantic as a young girl, is leaving Gintama. He took care of it for more than a year, and since we had various things in common (the way we approached our work, impressive hobbies, a love of solitude, etc.) we immediately became friends and worked together having fun. But after only one year we were forced to change classes! Maybe it’s like at school, where when too many problematic brats gather they are split up the following year. Maybe the higher-ups thought a smarter kid was needed to help me grow up… and maybe you won’t believe it, but the hit man sent after him is Nakasaki, an intellectual editor, a graduate of the famous Tokyo University. He is 30 years old this year, like me, but he belongs to the elite, born into an elite family in which even his father is a graduate of Tokyo University. He ate rice with the elite three times a day! He grew up differently from me, who ate Chinese-style, unrefined rice prepared by my mother three times a day. He belongs to the elite! If he had moved to Nanamagari* police station, the chief would have surely told him, “Fine! We’ll call you elite from now on!” … A man like that may be able to form a pair with Officer “Chinese fried rice”, but they’ll never get along!

*Fictional police station appearing in the detective TV series Taoyo Ni Hoero.

And in this way, therefore, the ” Chinese-fried rice” agent ended up meeting the elite agent. There was a tip-off from Agent Utena (Saito) and the scum (Onishi) about the elite agent’s abnormal pride. I thought he was the kind of person who puts up a wall around himself and doesn’t easily detect his true nature, always putting some distance between himself and others. So I decided that I had to break down this wall, and throw Chinese-style fried rice at his face to create a relaxed atmosphere to facilitate conversation. So I broke down the wall of Agent ‘Chinese Fried Rice’, despite the fact that I am also tremendously proud, by approaching him… which is rare for me. After chatting for a while, at one point I asked him: “Do you belong to genus S or M, Mr. Nakasaki?” … Well, it was like throwing a jab at him! It was like saying, “I’m taking my socks off, so you make yourself comfortable!” … A jab to tell him to get off his high horse, asking a stupid question and pretending to be a fool. Then élite replied, “Hmm… I’d say more M, but in both categories both elements coexist, so you can’t generalize like that. Besides, I don’t really like a question like that, as a conversation in a gokon.

WHAT A DRAG TALKING TO AN ELITE!

I found an argument, and he said he didn’t like it?! What’s more, our elite man let slip: “Don’t think I’m the same as you fools!” …

Well, I partly understand him, it’s true that when I see a man and a woman fiddling around in a pub asking each other if they are more S or more M, it makes me think: “I’ll teach you what those with MS tendencies are like!”, but with him I found this argument even though I knew how he would react to making fools of themselves together forgetting his Tokyo University degree!

In such cases, instead of criticizing the joke, it’s more important that he eats a plate of Chinese-style stir-fried rice that the “Chinese-style stir-fried rice” agent with whom he will be working as a couple from now on has carefully prepared, and smiles… Even if the plate is smelly, filthy, attracts flies, there are peas he hates and it’s full of pubic hair!

DAMN ROTTEN MAN WHO BELONGS TO THE ELITE! I JUST WANTED TO SHAKE UP THE AWKWARD ATMOSPHERE! WHO CARES IF HE HAS S OR M TENDENCIES, OR IF HE CROAKS OR LIVES ON!

So, after a long time, I got angry… but actually the agent ‘Chinese Stir-fried Rice’ didn’t get angry there. Even though the rice was thrown on the ground, he stepped on it and said: ‘Ooh, as I thought, you don’t like it! To tell you the truth, I don’t like it either! Eh eh eh!” When such a situation arises, I feel great shame for the Chinese-style stir-fried rice I once served, because it was rejected big time! I make a face like I want to say, “That’s not mine,” and pretend I found it wrapped up in plastic wrap on the table when I got home from school, and threw it away saying, “Actually, I don’t want to eat that.” … Well, on that basis, I find it hard to get along with someone who belongs to the elite like him. If I don’t take him down a peg, he’ll annoy me at every turn!

Well, underneath it all, he’s a good person, every time he brings me food and he’s very considerate. But is it normal for him to turn up with a meat pie at the bloodiest moment just before delivery?! What does that mean? What is this annoying feeling I get? Am I Akage No An?! I don’t even understand how to eat that stuff! You should bring me Chinese-style stir-fried rice! So irritating!

That said, the special “One of the elite has arrived” ends here. Anyone who is irritated by this guy, and who wants to put him in the toilet, please write to the studio!

I await your opinions like: “Who cares about your Tokyo University degree, you moron! You ended up as the editor of Gintama anyway! Is that why you graduated from Tokyo University?”.

Until the next volume, goodbye! Ah, Mr. Saito, thank you so much for taking care of me!

New topic: “What’s the point of a meat pie? Imbecile!”

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Thank you for purchasing the 28th volume! This is the fifth anniversary of the work in Japan! I thought I’d only just started it, but it’s been five years since I began serializing it. Until recently, I considered myself a newcomer, but I’m in my thirties… Sorachi himself, that punkish mangaka who came from Hokkaido on the back of a dolphin wearing rags… Sorachi himself, who’s always irritated, has turned thirty! Up until now, even if I made a mistake or missed a deadline, I’d justify it to myself by saying it was natural since I was a newcomer… but I’m not that anymore, I’m a respectable middle-aged mangaka. I can’t justify myself in any way and I have to behave properly. In fact, I had been in this situation for some time, but I simply looked away from reality. I’d always have an excuse ready and tell myself that Sorachi hasn’t fully matured yet and since he’s in the developmental stage he can make more progress… But now, in my thirties, I have no hope and it seems he has no room for progress, does it? What should I do? I should come up with a new excuse… but thinking back I realised I had forgotten that I was wearing a very heavy T-shirt and cuff while drawing. Since I was doing it naturally, I forgot to tell you. You didn’t know, did you? It’s a suit of armour for training mangaka to temper their muscles with. I suppose you thought, “This guy can’t draw,” or “This story isn’t interesting at all.” It’s only natural, because the G nib of Sorachi sensei, that’s me, weighs a good ten kilograms because lead has been poured into it! Besides, my assistants are a multinational unit made up of French, Africans, etc., so we don’t understand each other. On top of that, they are heavy too, because they have lead poured into them! Their boss Jeff weighs about 560kg. In this situation it’s only natural that he can’t draw a funny manga, because Jeff weighs half a tonne! Nevertheless, Sorachi is working hard! And when he takes off that shirt and fires Jeff, who knows what he’ll show us…! His strength is immeasurable…! Think of it this way. And keep supporting me!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS

LETTER SENT BY H-DA FROM SHIMANE PROVINCE

I’m an eighth grader living in Shimane Province, and there’s a reason I’m writing this letter to you, sensei! In the same class as me, there’s a girl I like… I challenged her in exams, and the loser had to do what the winner said. Well, I lost, and she asked me to “take her to the two-dimensional world”. So I beg you to help me out, Sorachi sensei, since you are the author of Gintama, a manga that the girl I love likes so much! I know very well that it’s rude to ask you something like that, because drawing is your job, but could you send me one of your illustrations, sensei? Since I’m already in middle school, I can pay for it, even though I don’t have much money… Please help the love of a student you don’t know! If so, please send the drawing to my address! I’ve enclosed a thousand-yen note, which is all I have… Please accept it!

ANSWER:

H-Da actually slipped a thousand yen into my letter! Dear H-Da – or rather, H-Da! – I’ll tell you one thing clearly… I won’t draw anything, because it’s a nuisance! A thousand yen won’t even buy a sex DVD… You don’t have to make fun of a grown-up like me, H-Da! Grown-ups don’t move a finger for a thousand yen! You don’t have to rely on others! All you need to make a statement is your sincere and honest love for her. Try to face her without resorting to petty tricks. This thousand-yen note to me is just a piece of paper that you can’t even buy a porn DVD with, but you can buy a pretty flower and convey your love by giving it to her along with a letter. I will give you back the money, and there will be no need to write to her anymore, because she will have already understood your feelings by reading this page. Everything else will depend on you, H-Da! If she rejects you, write to me telling me all the details until you succeed. That’s enough, otherwise I’ll only feel irritated. Also, you don’t have to send me any more money, and I beg everyone not to do as he did!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 74

QUESTION FROM MR MURAMATSU

My dream for the future is to become a novelist, and like you, I’d like to create something that makes people smile, Sorachi sensei! So here’s my question: Gintama is in its fifth year of publication, right? What’s the secret to this arduous longevity? I apologize for such an absurd question!

ANSWER:

I’d say the important thing is to have the intention to find everything useful… When you come across something interesting, a movie, a TV show, a conversation with others, if you can think “Ah! I’m going to create something more compelling than that!” You will find the right motivation! If you think it will help creativity, you will enjoy whatever you do.

However, even if it’s interesting, most things don’t come in handy, and I don’t even do much of anything, I often stay at home… I apologize for putting on airs and graces…

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 75

QUESTION FROM MR. FUJIWARA OF KANAGAWA PROVINCE

I always read your work and enjoy it. I’m asking you about something that’s been on my mind for a long time. In the 138th lesson, volume 16, why was Sacchan in the attic of Shinpachi’s house in the scene where Kondo… joined the ceiling after Otae’s kick?

ANSWER.

Ever since the episode in which a child appeared, Sacchan has suspected Gin-san and Otae of being intimate, so every now and then she even investigates the girl’s moves… she even plans to eliminate her by catching her in a moment of distraction.

Volume 28 ends here.

I once said that Gintama would end on the 30th, but, plain and simple, that’s impossible! I’ll try to make it happen, so don’t abandon me! Is it a problem if it’s a little over thirty volumes? If you throw away issues of Jump, you’ll quickly find room for the volumes. You don’t need a bookshelf, even in the kitchen… you can use the volumes for a cutting board, dividing them into two rows of fifteen. At this point, if you don’t collect them all, you won’t feel relieved, right? It’s like leaving your sideburns at the barber. Now… cut your sideburns once and for all! Treat yourself to a techno cut, you’ll feel better! Take care!

New topic: “It’s better not to talk nonsense”.

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