Thank you for purchasing the 51st volume of Gintama!

Thanks to your support, the film version of the final chapter of Gintama was better received than the previous work. Thank you very much. Yet despite the results, I feel a deep sense of defeat caused by the private screening for insiders that preceded the film’s theatrical release. Although it is the completion of the Benizakura saga, it was not a success. The insiders already know the story, but above all they see the film merely as the outcome of their work, being petty people who only work for money and have no interest in the work itself. That’s why the flop was announced.In fact, it seemed that not only the film, but Sorachi sensei himself had failed completely. I was afraid I would have to endure this tension again, but in front of me sat SPYAIR, who sang the theme song of the last film, which gave me a glimmer of hope. Unlike those bloody old men, their sensibilities are still fresh, and above all they didn’t have much to do with the production of the film. So they were able to enjoy it as neutral viewers and make up for that heavy atmosphere. Their leader, in particular, could have cried black tears from the black makeup covering his eyes… I would have hated to see the leader in a broken mood, but I expected such a reaction, so I watched from behind. Instead, they didn’t even blink an eye for the duration of the screening. They stared at the screen with an expression similar to No* theatre masks and an icy secret-agent stare. As he stared blankly into the distance, the leader’s eyes were completely black, as if he had a strip of Nori seaweed on his eyelids and could not see a thing, other than wax melted from tears. The only thing that was destroyed, therefore, was Sorachi sensei’s heart.

*Form of 14th-century Japanese theatre in which the use of masks does not allow the use of facial expressions.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 155

QUESTION FROM MR. “I’M COMPULSIVELY WATCHING RENTED ANIME DVDS”, FROM THE TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA

How old is Kamui?

ANSWER:

Kagura is fourteen.

Kamui is eighteen.

Umibozu is ninety-three…

I’m referring to the age of his hair roots.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 156

QUESTION FROM MS. CHITOSE OF WAKAYAMA PROVINCE

I have a question. Famous people often appear in Gintama and I find that they look very similar to real people. How do you draw portraits not only of famous people but also of ordinary people? Tell me your secret!

ANSWER:

The secret to drawing a portrait is first of all to exaggerate the somatic features of the person in question. You have to highlight the particularities: thin eyes, big nose, etc., exaggerating them with a certain malice. Everything starts here. After that, the malice must be dosed according to the use you want to make of it. If you don’t want to indignate the portrayed subject, you have to tone it down as long as their particular signs are barely noticeable. Portraits are not drawn with a pen, but with malice.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 157

QUESTION FROM MISS “PISTOL GIRL”

Good morning, Sorachi sensei! Gin-san, Kyubei, and the others have changed sexes several times. So if Hasegawa became a woman, what would he be like? I don’t think you have time to waste, but I’m asking you to draw her.

ANSWER:

He will be like this.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 158

QUESTION FROM MR. “BLACK FOX” OF KANAGAWA PROVINCE

Good morning Sorachi sensei! I’ve been wanting to get something off my chest for a long time. What does the word “necromancer” used by Otsu mean? Let me know, kibi unko!

ANSWER:

She’ referring to the video game Jaseiken Necromancer.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 159

QUESTION FROM MR. “THE GINTAMA MOVIE WAS AWESOME!”

I have a question for you, sensei! The other day my mother, upon hearing about the great success of the Gintama movie, said that if it’s such a popular work, the author definitely lives in Roppongi Hills*. Is that true?

ANSWER:

The harsh reality is that no matter how much the film attracts hordes of viewers and makes big money, the author doesn’t pocket anything. He only gets paid so-called royalties at the beginning. Practically a pittance, compared to the total takings of the film. Most of the money goes to companies like Shueisha, Sunrise, etc., those bloody profiteers. I make much more money from the manga volumes. The reason I collaborated on the film, despite having traces of blood in my urine, is that there are nicer places than flats in Roppongi Hills. I’m talking about your heart, dear lady! If Gintama can get to everyone’s heart, I’ll settle for living in Homeless Hills too. This is the true intent of an author when creating a work. So, ma’am, if you have an ounce of compassion, in addition to seeing the movie, buy the manga and send me to live off royalties in Roppongi Hills!

*Huge urban complex in the Minato district of Tokyo.

Well, anyway, SPYAIR, my only hope, looked like this. So I wanted to say, “Are you really SPYAIR? If you’re spies, you would have understood the situation. Haven’t you noticed that Sorachi sensei is sitting behind you? Even secret agents can’t sense my presence? You’re not going to start shooting at the movie without noticing me? That’s not going to happen, right?” This way I was only thinking about SPYAIR and looking at their heads instead of the film. During the second half, when I was about to be overcome with emotion, I held back my tears by looking at the high shade of their hair. However, in the parts where their songs were included, I could not hold back, and also by virtue of the gap between their appearance and the songs they composed, my tear glands had a ‘sonic collapse’. I thought that, beyond their No theatre mask faces and high shades, they fully captured the spirit of the opera!

I was the only one excited in the room and the only one moved by my own opera, in short, I was in an awkward position. Their artistic talent completely overwhelmed me. Thank you for composing such wonderful pieces, dear SPYAIR!

New topic: “So, what does that black stripe mean?”

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Thanks for buying volume fifty! And right now, when the movie is also coming out, they’re doing some personnel shuffling within Shueisha (notorious for not getting the vibe). So Congalala Matsuo, the fifth editor of Gintama, has been moved to Bessatsu Margaret. As usual, these always happen at inopportune times… I remember the previous editor, Yian Kut-ku Honda, telling me, “Let’s take care of a story for a movie.” But no sooner had we started running towards that goal than his Achilles tendon snapped, and he ended up being replaced by another person. Since then, I’ve been through hell and back with the novice editor Congalala, who didn’t understand a thing and could only throw poo at people, ready to die. And now that we finally see the finish line, and Congalala has learned that you don’t throw poop but flush it down the toilet, he was the one who got flushed and said goodbye.

What the hell is going on at Shueisha? On top of that, the next editor is the Yian Kut-ku of Achilles tendon. Despite pulling out of the race right after the start, he came back just before the finish line showing a face that seemed to say, “Sorry to keep you waiting so long”! I repeat, what the hell is going on at Shueisha?! So Yian Kut-ku only gets the good stuff! When he turned on the microwave, he found a movie ready with cheese on it. But look closely inside the microwave… There’s Congalala’s corpse covered in cheese!

In a nutshell, although Mr. Matsuo was in charge of this project during the toughest period, he walked out just short of the finish line without seeing the film completed. This gives me the same feeling as when you have a little urine left in your bladder. Besides, I was tense all the time, so I couldn’t show him any of my good sides. In the eyes of a new editor, a fifty-volume manga is like Saburo Tokito*: you just frown and look away, and then, even without doing anything, you usually look good. In any teledrama, he would play the lead role. But in the last year and a half, Saburo had reverted to his original spirit and threw himself headfirst into a vat of boiling water… I mean, they used to shove a red-hot ganmodoki** in his mouth, and he was practically always made fun of. Even looking back over the last year and a half, all I can remember is getting hit in the arm by Hideaki Ito* as soon as we met.

In Margaret‘s editorial office, if the cartoonists asked Matsuo what Jump‘s cartoonists are like, he might reply that I’m “Saburo shot in the arm”. If that happens, I’ll ruin the honor of all the writers who are working hard on Jump. So I couldn’t find any other words for him leaving other than, “I won’t tell anyone anymore that all you did was hang out with So_pland because of stress, so you won’t have to say I crapped my pants in the studio either.” I couldn’t even say thank you….

*Japanese actors.
**Fried tofu made with vegetables, eggs and white sesame seeds.

TO CELEBRATE THE THEATRICAL RELEASE OF THE 2ND GINTAMA MOVIE

SPECIAL INTERVIEW WITH HIDEAKI SORACHI!

Sorachi-sensei, who wrote the entire story specifically for the film version, will candidly reveal his thoughts on the Gintama anime and the cruel backstory!

Interviewer: Finally, on July 6th, the movie that tells the final chapter of the anime will be released… What do you think about it?

Sorachi: I feel a sense of gratitude that they have always run alongside the manga, which looks like a blast. Also, I’m grateful that I was able to offer my collaboration by specifically writing the story for the film, because I wanted to show my appreciation in some way. Since I had heard that this might be the last movie, I felt that if I didn’t assist it on its deathbed, there would be no one else who could. I wanted to personally give it the coup de grace so it wouldn’t suffer. But in retrospect, it suffered so much…since missed my shot. It was writhing around with its head hanging down.

Interviewer: We heard that you were the one who designed the storyboard for this movie. Tell us a few events about the efforts you had to make, or any unforeseen events!

Sorachi: Drawing the storyboard at the same time as the weekly release was the unexpected event. Instead, even though I had to make a story specifically for the movie, I didn’t think they would make me work so hard, I thought they would give me a hand, but instead they gave me everything! On top of that, Shueisha was uncooperative and didn’t even give me a short rest. Eventually I had traces of blood in my urine, caught all the contagious diseases, my editor started hanging out in Soapland. At first, I drew to show my appreciation, but eventually I wished death on everyone around me! In short, my attribute changed from light to darkness. Well, my relationship with this movie was really deep…

Interviewer: The original work also made it to the 9th anniversary of its serialized publication. Do you have any ambitions for the 10th?

Sorachi: Since I’ve had the making of the movie in my head for the past two years, I felt like I was doing two different jobs at once. From now on, I’d like to work only on the manga, to move it up a bit, also because it’s now at its 50th volume…

Interviewer: Finally, could you say a few words to the readers?

Sorachi: The movie version of Gintama is a masterpiece, or rather a bloody fruit, because it was made by various people: by me, by the anime staff members, by my editor, and by the soapland ladies, with tears and blood shed from various points… I ask you to watch the unleashing of the anime until the end! Please also give your support to the original work as well, as I will try to animate it even more.

THIS INTERVIEW IS A REPUBLICATION OF THE ONE INCLUDED IN THE JUMP NEXT! SPRING 2013

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 151

QUESTION FROM MR. “GINTAMA IS FUN” OF IBARAKI PROVINCE

I’m writing to you for the first time, Sorachi sensei! I have a question: With whom and where does Gin-san drink?

ANSWER:

He drinks at Kabukicho. And at any place that’s near his house, there’s always some acquaintance. He has no trouble finding companions to drink with…

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 152

QUESTION FROM MR. RYOSUKE TANAKA OF KYOTO PROVINCE

Sorachi sensei, I’m writing to you for the first time! While reading your manga, I became curious… Sagaru Yamazaki has a sword, but is he able to use it?

ANSWER:

He’s so good with a sword that he can peel an apple without ever breaking the skin.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 153

QUESTION FROM MR. TOKKA OF OSAKA PROVINCE

Good morning, Sorachi sensei! I decided to send you this postcard because your name has been mentioned in the news. They say that when they held a baby gorilla naming contest at a zoo in China, “Hideaki Sorachi” was the most popular! Does that make you happy? It does to me a little bit…

ANSWER:

Is this popularity…?

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 154

QUESTION FROM MR. “I WON THE TICKET FOR THE EVE OF THE CINEMA SCREENING!” FROM OSAKA PROVINCE

I’ll ask you a question right now. The other day, while looking at Twitter, I found your name and was surprised. Despite always complaining that you have to work hard for boards or every deadline, do you have time to use Twitter, Sorachi sensei? Do you actually use it?

ANSWER:

Up until now I’ve never used or kept a blog, let alone plan to do such things in the future. I want to dump both ideas and stress into the manga alone. So I think the Hideaki Sorachi you found is either a namesake, or a Chinese gorilla.

As I explained earlier, due to the sudden shift in personnel I couldn’t say much to my editor, so let me take advantage of this space.

Mr. Matsuo, thank you very much for running with me for a year and a half, and during the hardest period of Gintama‘s history. I’ll never forget that you continued to defend me and the work by sacrificing yourself, even though you had to bald yourself twice and even though you had sunk into the vice of So_plands. You are certainly another gorilla, that is, another author of Gintama.

So, make sure that if the last film is a flop, you’re to blame, and if it’s a success, I am. In return, I’ll give you 300 yen!

That said, the two gorillas’ latest work, the movie version of Gintama, “Gekijōban Gintama Kanketsu-hen: Yorozuya yo Eien Nare (Gintama: The Movie: The Final Chapter: Be Forever Yorozuya)“, will be released in Japanese cinemas on July 6. Also, to return a favor to Congalala, please go see it, please!

New topic: “So you’re finally advertising the film?”

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Thank you for purchasing volume 49!

I think some of you already know that the release of the movie version of Gintama, Gintama The Movie: The Final Chapter: Be Forever Yorozuya, has been set for July 6, 2013 in Japan. I’m often asked “What does ‘final chapter’ mean?”, “Is Gintama going to end?” … No, the manga isn’t, but for the anime it’s the last fireworks. Don’t send me any letters of complaint again. Every time the anime ends, there’s always someone who picks on me: “Why?”, but as I’ve said many times, Sorachi sensei doesn’t deal with the anime at all. I’ve never said either to end it or to continue it, partly because that’s not how it works in that industry. And this case is no exception. When it was decided that I would also take part in the film by writing the story, I was told that it would probably be the last one, and that’s why the title was chosen. It’s not like I’m the one who gave the dying anime the coup de grâce! First of all, it wasn’t my intention to use such a title, and without my noticing, they added “Final Chapter”. You”ll understand the real reason why it was titled that way if you watch it. So I can only tell you to go and see it.

In any case, it’s also true that I wrote the story as if it were the last episode of the manga, or rather, as if it could become one… Well, when I draw a long saga, I always do that. Anyway, since I put all my strength into it, I’d be very happy if you’d rush to the cinema!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 146

QUESTION FROM MR. “KYUBEI! HOW DARE YOU CARRY A SWORD IN THIS DAY AND AGE, WITH THE HAITOREI EDICT IN EFFECT!”

In Gintama, the Haitorei edict is in effect, which prohibits carrying a sword at one’s side. Yet Kyubei has one despite not even being a member of the police force. Why can Kyubei?

ANSWER:

Not everyone is forbidden to carry a sword. Officials in the service of the Bakufu are recognized as samurai who are allowed to. The Yagyu are famous in the art of swordsmanship, as they were once instructors of the shogun’s family, so they are treated the same as officials. If they were members of the shogun’s family, they would not be such, as they learned the art of sword fighting from them.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 147

QUESTION FROM MISS WOMAN OF BLOOD TYPE A, FUKUOKA PROVINCE

Sorachi sensei, good morning! You often write defamatory things about your editors… Have they ever seriously reprimanded you?

ANSWER:

Never. Because they also slander me by calling me Gorilla on Jump or in the anime. So there’s an unspoken rule that even though we slander each other, when we meet in person we don’t talk about it and we pretend like nothing happened.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 148

QUESTION FROM MS NAMINKO, FROM MIE PROVINCE

I’m a housewife who loves Gintama a lot. I really respect mangaka, including you, Sorachi sensei! But the other day my younger brother said, “All mangaka only draw the storyboards, and their assistants complete the works.” That’s not true… is it? (I’m asking even though I know that, at this point, it’s almost an insult).

ANSWER:

It depends on the way mangaka work. There are those who consider their work to be the creation of the story, and there are those who think they’re done only when they’ve finished drawing and inking everything.

Many authors prefer to do their own work, as they wish, provided they have enough time. But for a weekly publication it’s almost impossible, so a lot of people do the main characters themselves, but the nameless citizens called “background characters” I often entrust to my assistants. Excuse me, but I manage to complete the boards just in time for the deadline. However, when I’m not late, I sometimes draw them. The dirtier ones are usually done by me. I think you can have fun looking for them…

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 149

QUESTION FROM MISS MORIRIN

Good morning, Sorachi sensei! There’s something I’ve had a doubt about for a long time, so let me ask you a question. A punk is aware that he’s a punk, but when I say, “Dear ___, you’re a punk, aren’t you?”, he replies, “Not at all!” with a very happy air. Can you tell me why?

ANSWER:

By “punk” we tend to imagine a nonconformist or rebellious person who doesn’t follow school rules, but that’s not the case at all. There is no other person who is so serious, who wants to fit the stereotype that many people have of a punk, as a hoodlum. Because most hoodlums, considered as such by people, are pseudo hoodlums. They didn’t become such because they took a really bad turn, but because they found manga cool, or because maybe they can rank high in the school hierarchy. In short, it’s everyone who plays the role of a punk for a stupid reason like that. So they feel a bit uneasy if people think they’re punks or bad guys. All in all, they just want to fit into a stereotype and live quietly like that. You asked him “You’re a punk, aren’t you?”, and he, while denying it to hide his embarrassment, must have unintentionally cracked a smile. They tend to spontaneously adapt to a classic place, such as school, even though they say they don’t want to follow adult rules or be free, because they would like everyone to frame them in the typical stereotype of those who go out of the usual schemes, that of the punk. So give them that. Just remember three phrases, “You look good in a fight”, “What kind of bike do you ride?”, “You’re a punk, aren’t you?”, and you’ll be able to get along with them too.

You want to ask me why I know that? Do you suspect Sorachi sensei is a former punk? No, I’m not!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 150

QUESTION FROM MR. SANTA KURO

I am very afraid of the opinion of others. It’s often said that “only after you’ve received an evaluation from a third party can you get some appreciation,” but, surely, more often than not you are disparaged and despised. And I think one is deeply hurt by taking all criticism seriously. Sorachi sensei, how do you digest all the criticism of Gintama, which seems very harsh?  

Even though the publication has been going on for nine years, I still can’t stomach the criticism. When I receive letters with negative opinions, I get hurt, I get angry, and I suffer a lot…. I haven’t yet mastered the technique of putting these feelings in order; on the contrary, I try to remain as I am, because I consider this kind of difference a normal condition for my profession.

Of course, being involved in creative activities, I want a certain recognition from society. But what gives me the strength to keep going in search of something more fun and new is rather the spirit of refuting myself. I know that if I don’t keep thinking, “This isn’t good enough,” or “I have to do something,” I’ll lose the will; that if I feel satisfied, I’ll stop, but that’s just hard for me; and that if I’m left alone, I’ll end up listening only to positive opinions. That’s why, almost as a warning to myself, I told my editor to pass along all the fan mail, including the ones that seem like the epitome of nastiness.

Obviously, if I took all the negative opinions seriously, I’d end up having a breakdown, so I quickly read them with half-closed eyes thinking, “Shut up! Die!” and I don’t let the readers’ opinions sway me because I think, “If you don’t understand, it’s because you’re the stupid one!” It’s just that I try to put myself in a situation where I’m thinking, even vaguely, “Ooh, if I keep this up, I’ll never get anything done!”

That said, volume forty-nine “One step away from the 50th volume and the movie release” ends here. Both the 50th and the movie will be released in Japan at the beginning of July, so put your allowance or salary money aside: July will be Gintama month! And hurl them with all your might at Hideaki Sorachi’s face, which is me! Please give your support to both the manga and the movie.

New topic: “Gintama Month”

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Thank you for purchasing the 48th volume!

Last year I had various health problems, starting with the presence of blood in my urine. And in the end, just before I was about to hand in the boards for the last episode of the year, I had to fight the final boss, “norovirus”… It’s as if Clift, with whom I had made a promise to defeat Death Pisaro* together, suddenly threw a Zaraki** at me just before the finish line. The awful thing about the norovirus is that it’s this Zaraki thrown at you by surprise by your teammates, and by the time you realise it, it’s too late.

Try to imagine the feelings the hero Hideaki had when he had only one option, diarrhea at will, despite wanting to end the challenge against the last deadline of the year, i.e. the decisive battle against Death Pisaro, by resorting to the tactic “Attack at will”! Imagine the feelings the hero Hideaki had when the medicinal herb he ate came out of his ass from straining a little while wielding the sky g-pen!

The situation was creepy, as even staying quiet from his ass spurted out hit points. So, both Alena***, Manya*** and Minea*** were completely covered in poo.

As long as I didn’t select the “have diarrhea” command eighty times, the “fight” command wouldn’t come up, so I couldn’t think of defeating Death Pisaro. By the way, he had diarrhea too, so Clift and Torneko, who had eaten earlier, were spewing out of his ass! The challenge had turned into the one where the winner would be the one who would first expel all the toxic substance accumulated in the body…

That said, volume 48, the “Noro” special, ends here.

You too, be careful. It seems that depending on the person, the symptoms vary a bit, but in my case the diarrheal problems were terrible, as I’ve already written, and I had so much diarrhea that I could recreate an entire Hideaki Sorachi body by collecting everything that came out of me. In fact, it seemed as if Hideaki Sorachi had already been flushed down the toilet and it was the diarrhoea that was writing this page… maybe the positions of the two were reversed; that was the diarrhoea and I was the diarrhoea… I mean, it was so copious that I started thinking nonsense like this…

Since I couldn’t eat anything, I continued to work, surviving on sports drinks, but in the end, the liquid started coming out of my ass just as I had swallowed it. I’m referring to the transparent liquid. Rather than a manga author, I looked like the plant of some sports drink factory. It seemed that as it passed through my ass, the drink was completed. In short, it was such an exceptional sports drink that I thought maybe I was better suited for this than for drawing manga!

In order not to experience a tragedy like the one that happened to me, try to be careful, wash your hands well and gargle to keep yourself clean every time you come home. And then, first of all, don’t forget to lock Clift in the carriage!

New topic: “A Zaraki from Clift indicates negligence on the part of the hero.”

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Thank you for purchasing the 47th volume!

As I wrote on the cover of the album, after my former editor Jelly Belly Honda, Congalala Matsuo, the current editor in charge of Gintama, also shaved his head to atone for forcing me to do double work – film and weekly publication – with the consequent delay in delivery. I’m amazed that the very gorilla who was as sharp as a pointed knife and threw poo at everyone who touched him when he was just starting out has mellowed so much. Now all they talk about is the fact that the people who handled Gintama have mellowed. I’m even pondering whether to change profession, because maybe I’m better suited to opening a Buddhist monastery or a barbershop than being a mangaka.

Well, despite appearances, I regret it. I can even hold a press conference crying and apologizing to everyone for the whole double job thing. Only now is not the time to stop yet, so I have to run and hold back tears.Even if my editor shaved his head, or because of stress started to frequent clubs with mature entraîneuses, or wasted a few hundred thousand yen on soaplands, I have to keep running silently!  After overcoming such scandals, and when Sonoyama and Tominaga, that is, the film and the original work, have reached the peak of popularity by even exploiting them… right then, that is the Shun Shioya* of the manga world, I think I will cry.

*Japanese actor.
He was simultaneously with two women, Makie Sonoyama and Ai Tominaga.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 136

QUESTION FROM MR. “THE NUTRIENT I LIKE BEST IS SUGAR” FROM TOKUSHIMA PROVINCE

Hello! I’m a seventh grader and I love Gintama. Where do your crazy ideas come from?

P.s. Treat your editor with more care.

ANSWER:

Absurd ideas come to mind when I think back to the time when I was in seventh grade, which is the age you are now.

P.S. Treat your teacher with more care.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 137

QUESTION FROM MR AUCHIKA-FAFAFA

Good morning! Sensei, I have a question for you! When the characters eat something, why do you use the onomatopoeia “move-move” in the original? You normally use “mogu-mogu”, right? I’ve been thinking about this since I started reading your work… Please answer.

ANSWER:

Because they eat ” mooved” stuff, that is, not very refined.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 138

QUESTION FROM MR. “I’M GOING TO TAKE THE ENTRANCE EXAMS TOO”, KANAGAWA PROVINCE

In the 407th lesson, “Shinbo and Chief Hajime”, Shinpachi has a mobile phone… Did the Yorozuya members finally decide to have one? I’m curious…

ANSWER:

That mobile phone was Yamazaki’s. Shinpachi and the others, while looking for Gin-san and Obi-wan, joined Yamazaki and his colleagues, who were following them. He then borrowed Yamazaki’s mobile phone, and during the search they kept in touch via that, splitting into groups. I’m sorry if it was difficult to understand!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 139

QUESTION FROM MISS “I’VE THOUGHT ABOUT SHAVING, BUT AS IT’S AN UNFAMILIAR WORLD I’M AFRAID”, FROM THE PROVINCE OF MIE

Hello, Sorachi sensei! Until I got together with my current boyfriend, I didn’t know that butt hair really existed. And he has an inferiority complex because of it… So I can’t mock Mr. Kondo. In my own way I’ve tried to look for a silver lining, but I can’t find any! In every way I’m just in the way! In the filthy sense of the word. You seem to care about your butt hair, so I thought it was taboo to ask you a question like that… but I know I’m being rude, so I’m asking you: when you shave there, what can happen?

ANSWER:

I can’t get over the fact that you’re sending the argument forward based on the assumption that I shave my butt hair. However, even if it is done, they will come back and become even stronger, so I suggest that we walk a path together instead of exterminating them. You must be more proud of your butt hair! In this world there are only two types of individuals: those who have hair there and those who do not. The tendency is to discriminate against us, the hairy individuals, because we look filthy, or because the toilet paper gets caught and forms balls when we wipe. But they can only criticize us like this now! Listen to me! Hair exists to protect human organs, so there is hair, eyelashes and nose hair. So why is it that just because of butt hair, men are divided into two: who has it and who doesn’t? We have to think about this point carefully. Although we all have anuses, why is it only on our buttocks that there are these annoying hairs? Why do we have to carry such a heavy cross? I believe it is because ass hairs are not just hairs, but evidence of a mission imposed by God on some! In other words, they don’t exist to protect the anus, but the chikyu, the shameful hill called the butt… that is, the earth itself.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 140

REQUEST FROM MR. “GIVE ME SOME PICTURES OF GIN-SAN AND TAKASUGI (FOR AUTOGRAPH… IT DOESN’T MATTER)”, FROM NAGANO PROVINCE

Hello, Sorachi sensei! The other day I bought a Gintama book and found five curly hairs inside. I almost had a psychological trauma. Are they a gift from you? Or should I consider it a personal spite?

ANSWER:

No, it’s definitely Gin-san’s wavy hair.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS

You’re so persistentttt!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 141

QUESTION BY MR. KENTO MORISU OF IBARAKI PROVINCE

Listen, Sorachi sensei! My younger sister has recently started saying “I personally…” Like a refrain. I didn’t pay much attention to it until now, but since I realized it’s her catchphrase, it really irritates me. I told her to stop, but she doesn’t hear me. Sorachi sensei, say something to her!

ANSWER:

Personally… I don’t see the problem, partly because everyone can speak as they please. I’m sure you’ve got some little catchphrases that you just haven’t noticed. Let me tell you an old story.

When I was in university, I had a friend who always said, “commonly said”. No matter what I said to him, he would reply: “Are you talking about the commonly said_?”, as if everyone called him that. Therefore, I personally began to feel angry. Then, as a preventive measure, I too started to use before him, in a very vulgar, almost punk-like way, “About ___ commonly said_”, to prevent him from doing so. So, he said to me: “You always use that catchphrase”. How to say… I personally couldn’t get over it.

What is the common definition of this situation? What’s wrong with a gorilla? Since there was a boring gorilla who always repeated ‘uho uho’, I too started to say ‘uho uho’ in a higher tone than him, beating my chest so much that it burst… your situation can be compared to this. If you pay too much attention to your sister’s catchphrase, you too will end up using it without noticing. Personally, I think so.

I’m sorry for telling you a personal story!

Having said that, volume 47, the ‘having spent several hundred thousand yen is exaggerated’ special, ends here. Right after shaving his head, Congalala also cut off his eyebrows, saying, “Since I have nothing left, to atone for my guilt, I’m going to cut these off,” with a face without hair or eyebrows, similar to that of a Yakuza who cut off his finger. So, I said, “I feel sorry for you. It’s just that, since you make too many mistakes every week, I don’t understand what you’ve done this time.” …then asking him what he had to atone for. But he replied muttering unconvincingly, “It’s for a set of conduct…”. Having no other choice, I asked my first editor and the previous one, but I could not understand the situation well. The only thing I could figure out was that he was seeing a lot of soaplands in September. So, I thought, “Wait a minute…! In September he shaved his head and eyebrows, and also in September he spent a few hundred thousand….

YOU WERE SIMPLY INFECTED WITH PEDICULOSIS PUBIS!!!

New topic: “Please do not suspect that a mangaka or his editor has a venereal disease”.

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Thank you for purchasing the 46th volume! As I wrote in the previous one, there are several things to make public… Even though they’ve already been made known in Jump and on the net. To my surprise, I, Hideaki Sorachi, found blood in my urine! Has a decision been made to resume the anime, or to make a second film? True, these events are happy, but in the meantime… blood came out of the tip of my p_nis! Is the film based on a completely new story written especially by Hideaki Sorachi? Will it be released in cinemas next year? That’s all true, but first the author painted the WC red with his pen!
So instead of going to a movie theatre, I went to the urologist and went there ready to die, after washing my p_nis thoroughly thinking they would check it all. Instead, the doctor made a face as if to say, “Don’t pull that thing out!”. Then he said, “Why the fear? Everyone gets blood out. If you’re not ready to undergo something like this, you shouldn’t go to certain clubs to have fun, you damn syphilitic!”…
So, I was sent home after undergoing a urine test. But listen to me, doctors and dear readers! I, Sorachi sensei, do not have a venereal disease, and I haven’t gone out to have fun in almost a year! I’ve hardly ever left the house because of deadlines and the storyboard for the film. I thought that because of the blood in my urine they would give me some rest, but even the editor made a face that said, “Everyone bleeds, damn syphilitic!”



CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 130

QUESTION BY MISS AYAKO AKAHIRA OF HOKKAIDO

Until now, Sacchan’s house has appeared often. But each time it looks like a different house, or rather a different room. Does she live in one place?

ANSWER:

Since Sacchan has a dangerous profession, the assassin, on principle she lives in the same place for too long. She keeps moving from one inn to another. She just doesn’t want to leave Gin-san’s side, so she stays around Kabukicho.



CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 131

QUESTION FROM MR. “BECAUSE OF GINTAMA I CAN’T GO ON WITH MY STUDIES AND PREPARE FOR EXAMS, DAMN YOU”, FROM TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA

A sixth-grade student like me, in the middle of midterm exams, asks you a question… Sensei, among the AKBs, do you support Tomochin? I’m asking because in volume 42 Sasaki says: “He might not fit in as well as Tomomi Itano in the AKBs, who is too pretty.” …

ANSWER:

Like you, there are many who believe that a comic book character’s opinion is the same as mine. But they’re two different things. Sasaki thinks so, and in the manga I draw things I don’t think at all. By the way, I’m a supporter of Miss Mariko.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 132

QUESTION FROM MISS GINTAMA LOVE, EHIME PROVINCE

There’s something that came to my mind when I bought volume 45 of Gintama. It’s about Oboro, who appeared in the Courtesan of a Nation saga. I noticed that he doesn’t have any scars on his face on the cover, but he does on the inside of the comic. Is that your mistake, sensei? Or is the scar a result of Gin-san’s injury during the story? Tell me the truth!

ANSWER:

You’re absolutely right. But rather than saying it was caused within the story, I’d say it was due to an external event. A certain gorilla, when he erased after he finished inking, also erased the scar… He may have this past, but he may not… I apologize!

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 133

QUESTION FROM MR. TORMENTED HORSE, FROM HYOGO PROVINCE.

Sensei, I find To Love-ru‘s Momo really cute, so I would like to collect the volumes of that work. But I can’t because my mother and older sister are there. And yet I wish I didn’t have to hold out until I start living on my own… What should I do, sensei?

ANSWER:

Buy the Gintama volumes and put the cover of these on top of the others! Huh? Would you be ashamed in any other way? No, don’t say that…

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 134

QUESTION FROM THE TRUE GINTAMA LOVER SIGNIOR FROM THE TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA

Good morning, Sorachi sensei! Once, on a TV programme, I followed a speech: “It is well known in Japan – Sazae knows this too – that ‘cats like fish’ because the Japanese have always given cats fish since ancient times. As a proof we asked what the favourite food of cats in India and the answer was was curry’. We were surprised…”

Is it true that gorillas like bananas?

ANSWER:

Actually, the gorilla hardly ever eats bananas… but a set with half a portion of Chinese-style sautéed rice.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 135

QUESTION BY MR. PARFAIT FROM IBARAKI PROVINCE

Good morning! Sorachi sensei, I heard you have bad handwriting, but then why do you write by hand on the extra pages? (Why don’t you write on a PC?)

ANSWER:

You’re right. And since it’s such a hassle, I’d really like to use the PC… But just think, I get complaints just because I’ve changed the pen to a brush tip! Like, the pen I was using before was better, etc. Since there are readers who observe even these smallest details, I think that since this style of mine is so loved by everyone, I can no longer change it. So I will continue like this. I apologise if it is difficult to read. Although I write in this way, I used to take calligraphy lessons…



Having said that, volume 46 with the special “The blood-soaked decision to produce the film”, ends here.
After all, after the tests I underwent, no problem was found, so the cause was attributed to stress.
However, I would like you to understand the whole situation, including Sorachi sensei’s feelings, who thought, “Hooray! If they put me in the hospital, I could get on with the storyboard for the film!”. Seriously, I’m working at the top of my game. Both the serial publication of the work and the making of the film can stall at any time. They say the film will come out next year, but all the staff members almost laughed. Even at the present stage it is not clear what will happen. It’s all the rage now to have films supervised directly by the writers, but since the other writers are professionals, they don’t complain at all. Instead, I, being a punk mangaka, say everything clearly: they probably all have their p_nis covered in blood. Both Luffy and Naruto don’t say anything, but they have the inside of their underwear completely soaked. They work hard to make you laugh, for the filthy grin of Shueisha and the anime company, shedding tears of blood from the tip of their p_nises! For adults, it’s no problem, because I’ll definitely drag them to hell with me and have their whole bodies covered in blood, but I’d like readers to remember that the movie was made with tears of blood, like this, and also, I’d like you not to forget that Sorachi sensei is not suffering from venereal diseases. Then, if the Gintama movie doesn’t come out, as if it was never planned, I want you to go see Conan without saying anything. I believe in all of you. So don’t believe in me… Promise me that!

New topic: “Well, I’ll try my best, but…”

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Thank you for purchasing the forty-fifth volume! A ramen shop opened up near my house, so I went to check it out. Since I found a menu outside that said “a set of ramen noodles with half a portion of Chinese-style stir-fried rice,” I rushed over with such impetus that I almost ripped off the noren*, as if I were going to slide in.
There are many sets in this world, but I only recognize the one with ramen noodles and half a portion of Chinese fried rice, and the musical duo Chage & Aska. Since it’s newly opened, there were a lot of people in the joint, and I was told: “We apologize, but due to the fact that we’re very busy, we can’t prepare the half portion of Chinese stir-fried rice”.
So, I thought, ‘It’s not for nothing that this is the Chage & Aska of the ramen world. Their tickets sold out immediately’. Only I wasn’t interested in Aska singing alone, because I wanted to savour the complete harmony of the duo. So, I was about to leave, when a waiter told me to wait a moment and that they could prepare a plate of Chinese-style stir-fried rice even if it was not possible to serve a half portion. He basically told me that a set of Chage & Aska was impossible, but a set of Aska & Aska was feasible. For me, it would have been like getting slapped on both cheeks. Who would want to eat something that weighs down their stomach?! I wanted to savour Aska’s voice mixed with Chage’s sigh going ‘Fuh’ or ‘Hah’. They shouldn’t have underestimated Chage so much. First of all, what language do they speak? What does it mean, ‘Even if Chage didn’t come because he’s busy, there’s Aska’? If it’s possible to prepare a whole portion of Chinese-style stir-fried rice, even half of it shouldn’t be a problem. If Aska has some free time, Chage should be a little busy too. They shouldn’t underestimate Chage.
But that waiter may have advised me to have a normal portion of Chinese stir-fried rice after seeing my ugly, swollen belly… he must have thought, “How dare he force himself to say he wants a half portion? I can’t just watch!” So, I put my hand back in my pocket ready to slap him and, trying to calm down, I told him: “I’m fat, but I’m a half-fat person who can only eat a half portion of Chinese-style stir-fried rice. Since I don’t want to leave stuff on my plate, could you please split the normal portion in half?” Then the waiter replied, “Well, I can’t give you special treatment, sir…”

*Tent placed at the entrance of a shop or restaurant.

Well, if I asked for a half portion of Chinese-style stir-fried rice when there is no set with half a portion of such rice, I could see that I was demanding the impossible. Or if “half” of “half a portion of Chinese stir-fried rice” indicated a legendary ingredient that bears fruit once every hundred years on a cliff in an unexplored region of China, impossible to catch without bungee jumping with a rope made from ramen noodles… I would understand what they were saying. But they don’t. The word ‘half’ means ‘half’. Besides, it was they, the group of half conmen, who caught a half-fat guy like me writing that you can eat a half portion of Chinese-style stir-fried rice. And then, when I asked them, they were half-smiling even though there was no half portion. The waiter had a face that seemed to say: “Manager, there’s an annoying wolverine!”, so he said to me: “I can’t give special treatment only to you, sir… otherwise we’ll be forced to give it to other customers as well…”.
But what’s inappropriate about this request? What’s wrong with other customers asking for a set with half a portion of Chinese stir-fried rice? Listen up! Have you ever studied arithmetic? Eh, have you? Well, then first of all, split Aska, whom you’re now wok-frying, in half. You have to split her. That’s right! Take your time and don’t rush! Now, I want to ask you something. Who is it? Yeah, it’s Chage! So, if I put this Chage next to a portion of ramen… yes, it’s Chage & Aska! By dividing a portion of Chinese-style stir-fried rice in this way, you can make two sets with half a portion of rice. And so you can set two half-fats, right? Now you have learned something important. Well, then let’s give it the last touch! Split yourselves in two too, you damned half fools!!! I shouted like that in my heart, and stuck my chopsticks into Aska & Aska… I ate it all like it was normal. It seemed slightly unsatisfying to me. By now, that half-fat was nowhere to be found….


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 125

QUESTION FROM MR. MATCHBOX, SAITAMA PROVINCE

Good morning, Sorachi sensei!
Here’s a question for you. Why doesn’t Sakamoto carry a sword? Since I like him, this fact is close to my heart.

ANSWER:

Because he likes new things.
Sakamoto is also quite good with a sword, but he’s basically a pacifist with a merchant’s character rather than a samurai’s. For this reason, he has little attachment to the sword and prefers a more compact weapon, such as a pistol, to defend himself rather than to attack.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 126

QUESTION FROM MR. ” YOU HAVE MANY MARRIED PEOPLE AROUND, BUT YOU DON’T GET MARRIED SO EASILY, SENSEI! (LAUGHTER)”, FROM OSAKA PROVINCE.

You once said that you got the name Gintoki Sakata from Kintoki Sakata, the Kintaro who appears in a folktale. The heroine of the self-contained work Shirokuro is called Tomiko Sakata, so they both have the same surname… Is Gintoki Sakata really from Kintoki Sakata? Or did you actually use your first love’s surname? Eeeh, Sorachi sensei?

ANSWER:

Without a doubt, I got it from Kintaro.
Rather, although I don’t think anyone cares about such a detail, Shirokuro’s Tomiko Sakata is assumed to be a descendant of Kintoki Sakata. Kintaro is famous for defeating an ogre, right? Taking my cue from this episode, in my head was the assumption that his family had been doing this for generations. Even after the decision to make Gintama was made, I couldn’t get that fact out of my head, so I decided to call the main character Gintoki Sakata, changing an ideogram, since it was a hassle to come up with a new name.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 127

QUESTION FROM MR. MASTERLESS SAMURAI PROMOTING THE CAMPAIGN AGAINST FOREIGNERS, FROM HOKKAIDO

Good morning, Sorachi sensei! I’m sorry for suddenly writing something like this… When I was in my first year of middle school, I was going to school with my friends, and one of them said he had a stomachache and wanted to poop in a convenience store. To which I said, “We’re going to get to school soon… Just hang in there!” He said, “I’m feeling a bit better now,” and started running towards the school. Then he stopped, pale. I asked him if he was in trouble, and he said, “Don’t worry, it’s out of my system now”. I feel very sorrowful at the very thought of having dissuaded him… What do you think I should do to ease this pain?

ANSWER:

You don’t need to worry about him so much. Everyone grows up with a pain in their heart. Even a friend of mine, when he was in secondary school, got the urge on his way home from school. Only there was no convenience store in my country town, so he disappeared into the bush by himself. Then he came back… without a sock. He had a dominant position, like Gian’s, but from then on he started to be called Socks… In fact, it was only us who called him that. But he also took advantage of this adversity, laughed about it and continued to enjoy a certain popularity in high school. We all fall down when we trip over something or have a poo crawl or two. The problem is how to get back up afterwards and how to wipe your ass. The only thing you can do is not to repent or mock your friend under a moustache like I did, but to gently hand him one of your socks while he looks for a way to wipe his ass, whispering in his ear that toilet paper is not the only way. Not only do good things happen in youth, but there are roads paved with poop. However, I would like you to walk in such a way as to laugh about it in the future… That’s what I want as a man of a certain age covered in poo.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER: 128

QUESTION FROM MISS “I, HIS DAUGHTER, WOULD LIKE TO MARRY MR. SHINSUKE”, OKAMA PROVINCE

Sorachi sensei, I have a problem in my family: my mother says she wants to marry you! She’s attracted by your sense of humour, and she doesn’t care if you’re a gorilla. I don’t want my parents to break up, nor do I want them to commit any crimes. My family is at risk of disintegration… Help me!

ANSWER:

You don’t want them to commit any crimes? What is your mother trying to do? Your father’s safe and sound, isn’t he? Isn’t he in a freezer? And he’s not trying to put me in a freezer, is he? I wish she’d calm down! I may like married women, but no matter how eccentric I am, I could never get involved with a reader’s mother! Even a gorilla thinks… So give me your daughter in marriage, Dad!


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 129

QUESTION FROM MR. “OOH, YAMAZAKI-SAN, WHY ARE YOU YAMAZAKI-SAN?” FROM CHIBA PROVINCE

This is the first time I’ve written it, Sorachi sensei! Tama calls some people around her by adding “Mr.”, like “Mr. Gintoki” or “Mrs. Otose”, right? But in the 385th lesson, she also calls Yamazaki “Mr. Yamazaki” … Why is that?

ANSWER:

Since Tama is a robot, her relations with humans are basically those between master and servant, and she is very ceremonious towards her mistress or people who take her side. On the other hand, those who are at odds with the Yorozuya, such as the Shinsengumi, are like pebbles in Tama’s eyes. However, since she knows good manners anyway, Tama was kind to Yamazaki as well. However, practically speaking, to her, Yamazaki is a pebble.


Having said that, volume 45 “How much did you want to eat a half portion of Chinese fried rice?!” ends here.
I’ve written a number of things, but since I can only bully people in monograph volumes, I’ve only been arrogant here. In reality, I’m a fat guy who went to a restaurant, ate one portion of ramen, one portion of Chinese stir-fry rice, and then went home. And that’s it.
And since that’s what happened, if anyone was disgusted by my story, I ask them to forgive me. Please don’t think you want to beat up that fat guy.
I think that in the next issue there will be an upheaval in the work, as various ideas have been accumulating behind the scenes. So look forward to finding out.

See you in the next volume!

New topic: “Beware of the half-portion Chinese fried rice scam.”

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Thank you for purchasing volume 44!

Lately I had been assigned a very complicated job, which I was carrying out in conjunction with the weekly serial publication. But since I could not finish it, I was tired both physically and mentally, and so prostrated that I wished for the unhappiness of people all over the world! Then, those middle-aged men who have nothing to do since the Gintama anime ended, pitied me, organized a drink to encourage me, honestly, drinking with filthy middle-aged men, and no women, is not at all comforting so I would have preferred to work instead of spending the time uselessly. But given the circumstances, I thought I’d relieve the stress, and attacked the others: ‘What do you mean Justaway won*? I want to make sashimi out of it and eat it now!”.

So as I continued with my complaints, they were all infected and we started to touch on complicated topics, such as the regulation of TV programs and the ideal future of the anime. They were arguing lively with their dirty but elated faces: “Rather than broadcasting something that isn’t Gintama, changing the work because of certain laws, it’s better to let it end!”. Or: “No! The most important thing is to fight against regulation and allow viewers to see Gintama edited within acceptable limits!”Well, I should have been grateful, because they cared enough about my manga to engage in a spirited discussion. They said nice things, nice words, but they were filthy and their saliva splattered all over the fried chicken and other dishes on the table… So I nodded randomly, hoping they’d stop talking and come up with a solution.  I was thinking: ‘I don’t care about these things, I wish they would encourage me!’. Then the situation evolved in a totally unexpected way…

*It’s the name of a racehorse

At first, even though it was an argument, it was as if they were playing around and having a Mongolian sumo match partly for real and partly as a joke, smearing lubricant on each other. But since the drink was organized to encourage Sorachi sensei, which is me, I thought they would stop it sooner or later. However, when I returned from the bathroom, I found all these older men engaged in a Pride* match in a ring surrounded by barbed wire!

They’d been properly lubricated just now, but in the short time I’d been looking away, the lotion had dried up and they were straddling each other, dyeing themselves a completely different lotion than usual… red! Well, it wasn’t that they were really going at it, but two filthy middle-aged men were giving each other dirty looks as if they might fight at any moment. It was like, “Aah? You want to hit me? Hey!”

Have you ever seen older men looking at each other with hostile eyes? It was scary. It wasn’t a junior high school student! It was a middle-aged man against a middle-aged man! People who should have learnt many things in life, apart from knowing how to cope and understanding other people’s pain, were looking at each other hard!

Since I grew up in the lap of luxury, I was trembling with fear, but I couldn’t go on like this, because I too am a middle-aged man! So, together with Jelly Belly, my former editor, I immediately poured some lubricant on my head and slid slippery between the two of them, making unfunny jokes like: ‘Oof! Do you think it’s appropriate to show Sorachi sensei such a quarrel?! If the style of Gintama is going to change because of you guys, what are you going to do?” or, “Go for it! You might be useful for battle scenes!”. So I placated them by greasing everything with the cry of: “You’re not doing it seriously, are you? This isn’t a serious fight, it’s a comedy skit, right? Right? You’re joking, right? You’re all creeps, right?”

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 121

QUESTION FROM MISS CHIHIRO

In Gintama, which character is the most difficult to draw and which is the easiest?

ANSWER:

The easiest ones are Hasegawa and Zenzou. The most challenging part of drawing a character is the eyes. I avoid them with these characters. But above all, they’re middle-aged men, so even if they look a bit ugly, they’re still acceptable.

But I want to make the female characters pretty, so they take longer.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 122

QUESTION FROM MR. SOBANA’S PARTER

Bansai carries out his activities as a music producer under an assumed name. But since the Shinsengumi know his face, is he in no danger?

ANSWER:

Since he’s a mysterious producer who never shows his face and doesn’t even make his profile public, there’s no problem. By the way, Otsu has never met him in person either.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 123

QUESTION FROM MR. OGAWA

Who was the character in Gintama that first came to your mind?

ANSWER:

Gin-san. First of all, I put the main character at the centre, then I thought that in order to make him stand out, you needed someone to compare him to. So Shinpachi was born. Then Kagura, because we needed a little more sparkle. Otae appeared in the scene first, but Kagura’s outline had been done beforehand. After placing the Yorozuya at the centre of the story, I defined the characters around him. Even Hasegawa, who appeared in episode 2, was part of the Yorozuya in the outlining stage, to add an adult’s point of view, but then he fell through the cracks on his own…


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 124

QUESTION FROM MR. NAKAGAWA

Sorachi sensei, what do you do when you’re in the situation “I’m sleepy but I don’t have to sleep, I have to finish the boards”‘ I, personally, am always so sleepy lately….

ANSWER:

Drinking coffee, chewing gum, licking mustard, slapping myself with a slipper, even sticking a drawing pin in my arm… I’ve tried various methods to make a night of it over the past eight years, but they all only work at first, and once I get used to them, they have no effect. When I reach the limit, even if I’m giving directions to the assistants, I fall asleep.

“Sensei, tell me!”

“So, at this point… zzz…”

I once fell asleep for two or three minutes like this. I slept pretending to torment myself by staring at the boards. Since I reduce myself to this state, it is impossible to eliminate sleep completely, no matter what I do.

So what is to be done? Let’s face it: nothing but sleep! Even ten or twenty minutes is fine, fall asleep without hesitation. If you’re worried about people’s stares, collapse in the toilet pretending to poop. As soon as you wake up you are assailed for a moment by a sense of exhaustion, which makes you think that it would be better to die, but in this way, at least for a while, you manage to chase away sleep.

It’s just that your body feels the effects of all this, and you don’t work efficiently, so I advise you to get as much sleep as you need and to distribute your time well, so that you can work without interruption.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 125

QUESTION FROM MR. NAKAGAWA

Sorachi sensei, what do you do when you’re in the situation “I’m sleepy but I don’t have to sleep, I have to finish the boards!”? I’m always very sleepy lately….

ANSWER:

Drinking coffee, chewing gum, licking mustard, slapping myself with a slipper, even sticking a drawing pin in my arm… I’ve tried various methods to make a night of it over the past eight years, but they all only work at first, and once I get used to them they have no effect. When I reach the limit, even if I’m giving directions to the assistants, I fall asleep.

“Sensei, tell me!”

“So, at this point…zzz…”

I once fell asleep for two or three minutes like this. I slept pretending to torment myself by staring at the boards. Since I reduce myself to this state, it is impossible to eliminate sleep completely, no matter what I do.

So what is to be done? Let’s face it: nothing but sleep! Ten or even twenty minutes is fine, fall asleep without hesitation. If you’re worried about people’s stares, collapse in the toilet pretending to poop. As soon as you wake up you are assailed for a moment by a sense of exhaustion, which makes you think that it would be better to die, but in this way, at least for a while, you manage to chase away the sleep.

Only the body feels the effects of this, and you do not work efficiently. Therefore, I advise you to get as much sleep as you need and to distribute your time well, so that you can work without interruption.


However, when I later asked them the reason for the quarrel, they said that it is the order of the day to fight in such a skirmish. And they continued to make dirty jokes as if nothing had happened.

But the director Wada, from TV Tokyo, was sad because he had made a fool of himself in front of the author of the original work. He wasn’t moving, his eyes were half-closed, and his umbrella was clutched to his chest. So I said, “It’s not like that, Director Wada! I am quite moved. I feel really encouraged, because I saw that mature men like you are trying to turn such an absurd manga into anime by having lively discussions and even giving importance to a dirty joke! Rather than a meeting to support Sorachi sensei, it became a meeting to incite Zatoichi*. But that doesn’t matter, thank you very much for today!”.

Then Wada rushed to the bathroom. I thought he was crying and was moved by my words, but he didn’t come back. Since he was drunk off his ass, we started to worry.

“Director Wada! Are you alright?! Come on, Wadaaaa!” … Since he didn’t answer, I opened the bathroom door by picking the lock with a ten-yen coin and… I found Zatoichi pooping in a normal way…

New topic: “Meeting to see Zatoichi poop.”

*Literary character created by writer Kan Shimozawa.

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Thank you for purchasing volume 43!

As I wrote in the previous one, the editor in charge of me has been replaced. It used to be Jelly Belly Honda, but now it’s Congalala Matsuo. He’s actually a newbie who was hired last year, and Gintama is the first work he’s been in charge of. So, he doesn’t understand anything, he’s like a newborn gorilla who doesn’t even know how to peel a banana. For a newcomer like him, the fact of dealing with this work, drawn by Jump’s slowest author, is the equivalent of being in the demon king’s castle at level 1. Well, it’s true that up until now, hero Sorachi’s team has never been much of a team: Onishi, a pleasure-lover who only thinks about getting things offered to him by Bandai employees… Saito, who despite looking like a warrior who prefers to use force, is actually a monk who only heals his own wounds by reading manga for girls in his room… Nakasaki, a sage who because he has the pride parameter at level 99 is difficult to deal with… Honda, a packhorse who only stays in hotels with a fancy bar, etc…

In short, a team made up of rubbish that can’t be useful for anything. Anyway, when the hero Sorachi was in real trouble, they would stop the printing press with the “Megante “* formula or bring Sorachi back to life by shaving his head using “Megazaru “*.

Any refusal will do, if only he’s able to use “Megante” and “Megazaru”, or even “Zaraki “*… Or if he’s able to throw holy water on the demon king, or if it’s Clift. In all these cases, the hero can keep a smile on his face.

Instead, a guy with zero experience who naturally can’t even use a magic formula has arrived. I checked his belongings to see if there’s anything effective, and that’s how I found out that he has a lot of “Congalala excrement”… Basically, a Japanese cypress stick covered in poop instead of a reliable team, just a step away from the demon king’s castle!

*Magic spells appearing in Dragon Quest.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 117

QUESTION BY MISS NATSUNA, FUKUOKA PROVINCE

The Shinsengumi are only men… Who prepares the food? Do they take turns cleaning? I’d be happy to know.

ANSWER:

Since there’s a canteen at the Shinsengumi’s headquarters, everyone usually eats there. I think it has appeared several times so far. When they want some particular dish, they go out wherever they want.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 118

QUESTION FROM MISS “I LIKE BOTH REBORN AND D. GRAY MAN BUT I WANT TO ASK ABUTO TO MARRY ME, AND I WILL MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO BECOME A GOOD WIFE”, FROM SAITAMA PROVINCE

How old is Abuto? Tell me since I like middle aged men!

ANSWER:

He is thirty-two. By the way, Abuto was originally supposed to die.

But since I liked him more and more while I was drawing him, he survived. Proof of this is the fact that in the first scene in which he appeared he had a typical face of a secondary character.



CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 119

QUESTION FROM MR. “SOMETIMES I SEE MUMIN MUSHROOMS”, TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA

Hello, Sorachi sensei!

I’ll ask you a question right away… In volume 40, your older sister started to sense something. After that, what happened to her psychic (?) ability?

ANSWER:

She sent me an email with a picture of an Anna Sui bag attached for me to find for her…

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 120

QUESTION FROM MR. FURUSATO, OF SAITAMA PROVINCE

Sensei, I’m writing to you for the first time. I respect three people: Ryoma Sakamoto, Ryotaro Shiba and Hideaki Sorachi.

I began to feel esteem for you when I read your answer to a question during an interview:

“What do you pay attention to when outlining characters?”

“I will never create any perfect superhuman. Having everything is the same as having nothing.”

Since I read these words of yours, I think you are a great person. But here’s the question…

I am a student looking for a job. The other day I went to take the exams for a certain teaching hospital in the Tokyo metropolitan area. Since I was asked at the final interview who is the person I most respect, I said, “It’s Hideaki Sorachi sensei!”.

I wasn’t hired. When you’re feeling down, what moral support do you turn to? Absolutely give me some advice!

ANSWER:

Since I’m feeling down right now, just ask some older men near you!

Having said that, the special “It can’t break suddenly” ends here.

Well, I was really surprised. I wouldn’t have imagined that Matsuo, at level 1, would be able to resort to “Megante” already. What’s more, in a place that has nothing to do with work, getting excited in a Sumo match during a trip, against Clift, in the carriage, before fighting the demon king!

I sped through the work with all my might, but my previous editors came to pick up the boards: Saito and Honda. They, by now, are used to the fast pace of the other authors, and seemed to want to say “Are you still living in a cesspool like this?”, or “Could you hurry up? I have a meeting for Naruto” … So I said, “Sorry to disturb you…”.

I don’t really understand why, but the hero Sorachi apologized. I don’t really understand why, but I felt like having a sumo match. I thought maybe I could break my right hand….

New topic: “No problem for me, because I wanted it, but at least apologise to Clift!”.

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Thank you for purchasing the 42nd volume! It has been decided that Mr. Jelly Belly Honda, my editor, will be leaving Gintama to embark on the great journey called marriage. I’m really glad that I can send him off safely. If he makes a mistake and loses a finger before the wedding, he won’t be able to wear a wedding ring, and that would be a trouble for which it would not be enough to say “Amen”! He would have to exclaim “Jesus!” …

That said, as I wrote on the flap of the book, I was asked to draw an illustration of the bride and groom to congratulate them. I said “leave it to me”, because this is the only chance I have to repay him for the fact that he had to shave his head because of me, but also because Honda’s future wife is truly exceptional: he once told me that he woke up in pieces after a Gintama deadline and found Monster Hunter 3 on his bed. She had bought it, on the sly, standing in line since 4:30 in the morning.

“Well, now I won’t have to sit on my hands waiting for the Gintama boards!”

Looking at him smiling sarcastically with a face similar to Yian Kut-ku*, almost like a chicken bone, my big sword exploded, “Imbecile! What you need to hunt for is not the monsters in the video game, let alone rare items, but your sweet bride! A very rare woman to find! Give me Monster Hunter and go buy a wedding ring by standing in line from 3:30 in the morning!”

After all, it’s thanks to me and Capcom. Honda is nothing but a hyena, he simply took the prey down from me and Capcom and made the best of it. I would never trust a guy like that with the last hunt, the “big catch”. Penetrating Yian Kut-ku and his bride with my arrow of the heart, turning them into yakitori**, is my last mission as a Happy Hunter!

*Monster appearing in Monster Hunter.
**Chicken skewers.

So I gladly agreed to do the illustration. It’s like… even though it’s a thoughtful bride, they’re a couple of fools who formed through a video game after all. She’s Yian Kut-ku’s bride, so I know very well that she’s similar to Congalala*.

“Well, leave it to a mangaka… I’ll draw Congalala as a golden Rathian*, give me a picture!”, I told him. But other than Congalala, it was a pretty bride like Felyne**, with glasses and a pair of socks. The photo showed the pretty Felyne and the clean-shaven Yian Kut-ku with a face like a stowaway, cheek to cheek, around the Disney Sea, as if shouting “Yeah”! I felt like hunting them down! By now it doesn’t matter how similar they look to Felyne and Yian Kut-ku, I can smash their heads with a big sword and reduce them to “Jelly Belly Socks”? I didn’t know you were like that, I thought they were a poor couple of Congalala and Yian Kut-ku, and I thought more of dedicating a flower to these two fools. Even when I heard about the Monster Hunter purchase story, all I could think of was Congalala standing in line at dawn, and I was even sure that she had forcibly stolen the game by throwing poop at others. That bastard! Even though it’s Yian Kut-ku, in which Village Vanguard shop did he buy the bride? And since he made her wait in line at 4:30 in the morning, in winter, what the heck kind of SM games do they play?

So I felt like ruining the wedding and asked Matsuo, my new editor, “Hey, do you think I could put poop in the bride’s hands?” He replied, “That’s right, it’s annoying! Gori! Uho! Uho!. It’s rather him, my Congalala-like “new bride”… Jesus!

*Monsters appearing in Monster Hunter.
**Monster Hunter character.

CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 116

QUESTION FROM LADY SADIST QUEEN OF CHIBA PROVINCE

In one episode, Okita’s older sister Mitsuba is getting married, right? And Okita says, “…there’s a guy who irritates me. Even though he’s my kohai, he talks to me like we’re on the same level. Also, he’s insolent…” You’re referring to Hijikata, aren’t you? Why was Okita his senpai at the time, but now he’s the commander of Team #1 and Hijikata is the deputy chief?

ANSWER:

Director Kondo is the core of the Shinsengumi, as well as the symbol, but the deputy chief has, venerating the chief, the actual running of the organization. And since it’s a continuous follow-up to the boss, Followkata was the most appropriate.

Okita is also smart, but not suited to leading others. He also specialises in fighting, so he was given command of the first team. He is the most dangerous of all. But both are important roles that are indispensable in an organisation.

Volume forty-two, the special “Sorachi and Matsuo W Congalala training” ends here. Forget curly hair, this man looks like he has pubic hair on his head… Besides being Congalala. On top of that, he was born and raised in Hokkaido, so I thought he was a copy of me. I thought I was going to die.
Anyway, he has a head that deserves a shave. But since it looks like a simple shave, I’m fearlessly conceding mistakes. And the first one I think I’ll make at Yian Kut-ku’s wedding, attending with a “W Congalala with poop on two hands” as my offering. Thanks for taking care of me so far, Honda!

New topic: “Thank you for your work, Honda”.

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