Volume 31

Title: “To hell with the popularity polls!”



Thank you for buying the 31st volume! So, thanks to the support you’ve given me, it’s been decided to make Gintama into a movie! To tell you the truth, my editor had told me about this film adaptation a long time ago, but it’s been a really long road to get here, it’s been two or three years since I heard about this idea. I was waiting, waving my yellow handkerchief like Chieko Baisho, but Ken Takakura never came back… No one knows what he was doing or where he was…*. At first I just thought he was lost, or didn’t know how to do well in life, but at some point my editor started not even pronouncing the “M” in movie, starting to give off an aura that seemed to mean there was never such a proposal. So time passed, and the handkerchief became soiled with crow droppings. When even Baisho got soiled, forgetting all about that guy with a military cut, he finally came back. Our situation is comparable, and honestly I feel more anxiety than joy… They all pretended that the proposed transposition never happened. Once Ken had an accident, completely destroying his car… nothing but a military cut, his lower body was completely cut off, and he must have died once. It’s natural that I’m afraid, because you never know when Ken might have an accident again and run after Kaori Momoi** abandoning Baisho…

*reference to the movie Shiawase No Kiiroi Hankachi or The Yellow Handkerchief
**Japanese actress.



CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 82

QUESTION FROM MR. “I CAN’T ERASE THE JUST AWAY SCRIBBLED IN THE NOTEBOOK ANYMORE BECAUSE I THINK IT’S CUTE”, FROM THE TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA

Since there are often scenes of Gin-san as a child studying under Shoyo sensei, I can tell that he was with Katsura and Takasugi… But when they were fighting, Sakamoto also joined them. Did he also study with the others? Or did he meet them in another way? I’m very curious about that…

ANSWER:

Three people studied under Shoyo sensei: Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi. Sakamoto is one of their comrades-in-arms whom they met later on, while they were waging war against the foreigners.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 83

QUESTION FROM MR. SORACHI HIDEAKI_TAMA OF TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA

There’s something that’s been on my mind forever: where does Gin-san usually watch porn videos? I guess he can’t at his house because of Kagura…

ANSWER:

Try asking your dad, he knows.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 84

QUESTION FROM MR SAITO OF IWATE PROVINCE

This is a question from a brat who has nothing to do with you, Sorachi sensei! Lately there have been a few scenes where Sadaharu appears… Do you hate him, sensei? What is your opinion of him?

ANSWER:

I think if you have a dog at home you can understand… Usually you don’t notice your dog’s presence much. It’s like… you suddenly realize the importance of its existence, or of having it next to you, when you feel sad and want to cry. I wanted to express this atmosphere, the bond between him and his master, which seems subtle but is actually deep. I mean, it’s so…

Sorry, I just forgot to draw him.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 85

QUESTION FROM MR. MUTAITO, ISHIKAWA PROVINCE

I have an uncle between thirty-five and forty years old (a Madao). The other day, when that Madao came to see me, he slept in my room. In the middle of the night, at about 2:00 a.m., he unleashed a Mafuba* on me with all his might, while being completely naked. Sorachi sensei, help him!

ANSWER:

I think it’s too late now. Try to seal your uncle up by pushing back his blow with all your might, stripping completely naked. It’s sad to have to tell you this… but I think this is the best thing you can do for him.

*Technique that appears in Dragon Ball.


That said, volume 31, the “Special on the Yellowed Handkerchief of Happiness”, ends here. Well, since there are reasons that only adults can understand, until the end we never know what will happen to these kinds of proposals. Only if you, the readers, wait for us will something happen, that is to say, if you say you want to wait for our return by raising a yellowed handkerchief in the sky, we will surely come to bring you that film… or rather happiness, overcoming any difficulty and having that handkerchief as a reference!

Good luck to all the Chieko Baisho’s in the world who are waiting for happiness!

New topic: “Best wishes for the film!”.



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Volume 30

Title: “The size of the areolae is proportional to the size of the soul”



Thank you for purchasing the 30th volume!
That said, I’ve made it this far, to the thirtieth…. At thirty! Both the manga and its author have reached an age when one smells like an old person… I was nervous before I turned thirty, but I was convinced that I would remain rather impassive. However, the other day when I picked up a card for the points collection, I was stunned… I had to put a ‘3’ in the age space! I almost shouted: “What does this mean? What is this number? Who is this uncouth transfer student from another school?”. Until recently I was writing “2” in such an elegant way, but now I will never be able to meet that number again, that elegant age will never return. For the next ten years I will have to deal with “3”, made up of two unrefined protuberances. I was trying to resist with all my might, I was about to collapse and I couldn’t move from the box. Why “3” … What does “3” mean? Are you kidding? “ω” sounds like a butt! But “m” sounds like a butt waiting for a suppository. “3” is a butt waiting for a suppository. No matter how you try to resist, there’s no escaping the butt! I can’t take it anymore! Somebody help me! Rather than starting with “3”, “4” is much better. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9… Look, of these numbers, “3” is the crudest, isn’t it? The other numbers I can see what they’re trying to do, they have a clear goal. Some want to be sharp or rounded, some want to be a bit roguish (with both elements). But only “3” looks like a third-year student who hasn’t yet decided what to do after graduating despite being in his third term. He hasn’t decided whether he wants to be round, pointy or square. He’s like someone who says naive things like, “I want to be a dancer, but for now I’ll do odd jobs.” … Moreover, he does things just to show off when in fact he has failed to become an ‘8’. He tries to hide it with all his might fearing he’ll be hurt, he’s given up halfway through… That’s no good!


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 76

QUESTION FROM MR. “YOU WON’T DIE EVEN IF YOU DON’T STUDY IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!” FROM MIYAGI PROVINCE

Master Sorachi, in volume 15, you were asked where Gintama was going, and you answered in vain, saying that around volume 20, you’d catch a glimpse of your goal! Now that we’re on the thirtieth volume… have you begun to glimpse the goal?

ANSWER.

Judging by the nickname, this letter was sent by someone who’s in the middle of his rebellious period! The theme of Gintama has been obvious for some time now, since about the twenty-first volume it keeps leaking out and seeping in. I think all other readers but you have already noticed… that’s just it, isn’t it, guys? Elizabeth’s calves are done that way, all in all that’s the theme… how embarrassing! If you read the manga normally, you should have figured it out… as you say, even if you don’t study in middle school you won’t die, but if you don’t you’ll never understand Gintama.

That said, for now, study with all your might without sulking! You have to do what’s possible for you now, otherwise you’ll become an irresponsible adult like me! If you continue to study, you’ll surely be able to understand this work. Is that alright, Madam… er, Mother?


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 77

QUESTION FROM MR. JIJI, MIYAZAKI PROVINCE

Good morning! Excuse me for writing something like this out of the blue, but Mr. Nakasaki Élite’s comment, published in the 2009 issue 30 of the weekly Shonen Jump, made me very curious. “I soiled the gift for Sorachi sensei from the staff of the Gintama anime… Never drink, never!” … But what happened?

ANSWER:

Once a year I drink with the anime staff. Well, basically we don’t even want to see each other’s faces, because we’re all sweaty middle-aged men, but since it only happens once, we all drink while frowning. So, because my birthday is coming up, they bring me a present, and élite, as soon as it arrives, gets it dirty. You’re all thinking of vomit, but it wasn’t such a pretty episode… and the present wasn’t pretty either: an inflatable wife. Our elite, drunk, soiled her… Everything was filthy from the start, the gift, the staff, elite. The only clean one was Sorachi sensei.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 78

QUESTION BY MR. “NOW I’M LOOKING AT SAZAE-SAN” FROM HIROSHIMA PROVINCE

Sorachi sensei, did you have to struggle because your family opposed your moving to Tokyo, or did they give you permission easily against all odds? I would like to draw and go to Tokyo someday too, but my mother says I can’t. Tell me your story…

ANSWER:

Even if you don’t go, you can still draw. On the contrary, you don’t necessarily become a mangaka just because you go to Tokyo. For a job like mine, almost like a gambler’s job since you don’t know if you’ll be able to make a living or not, it’s hard to get the understanding of the people around you. However, if you want it from your family, it’s best to get some results by actually doing something before revealing your dream of “wanting to go to Tokyo and become a mangaka”. No one would listen to the words of a person who hasn’t made any effort or achieved any results. The advantage of being a mangaka is that you can draw anywhere, so you might be able to submit them to some contest. As an aspiring mangaka, you don’t have to think about Tokyo or becoming an author’s assistant, but about drawing. When you get some results, like when you win an award or get an editor to follow you, other people will understand your efforts too. I think that’s how it is. And then maybe a different response will come from your family. Nowadays, going to Tokyo doesn’t count for much, so get busy!


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 79

QUESTION FROM MR. DANCING WIND WHOOSH OF OSAKA PROVINCE

Hello, Sorachi sensei! Why are you so good at drawing middle-aged men?

ANSWER:

BECAUSE I’M ONE OF THEM.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 80

QUESTION FROM MS. I SOUGO & YUZU, HYOGO PROVINCE

I have a question for Sorachi sensei! Gin-san and Okita are super S. I want to become super S too, what should I do? I’m S, and while I’m at it…

ANSWER:

This postcard was sent to me along with a picture of an older sister and her brother with bright, naive eyes that look like they’re primary schools age. So… I get it, you want to be super S… Um, yeah… Well I ♡ Sougo, you um… do you understand what “S” means? The phrase “I’m S” means you’re a student, right? “I’d like to be super S” means you’d like to be a super student, i.e. a formidable schoolgirl, right? I used this term in that sense. You understand this fact, right? So listen, dear I ♡ Sougo, you must do the following: first of all, you must not tell your mother where you learned this word, then you must hide Gintama in the deepest part of your desk drawers, and you must never mention the name “Sorachi”… you must eliminate it from your brain! Also, from now on, you must absolutely refrain from talking about S or M as if you were at a gokon*. Am I not right, elite? It’s not OK to talk about things like that! Only if you can do what I’ve said will you be a respectable super student! Oh, and don’t let your mother see this page (even if your postcard is published). If you show it to her, I’ll deprive you of the title of super S… Please!

*Organized meeting between multiple single men and women who don’t know each other.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 81

QUESTION FROM MR YAMAMOTO OF SHIZUOKA PROVINCE

Hello, Sorachi sensei! I’d like to ask you a question right away: Leukocyte King looks like Gin-san because he mirrors his image, right? But why doesn’t he have dead eyes?

ANSWER:

Tama chose Gin-san as the model for Leukocyte King because he gives the impression of being the strongest among the people around her. It’s not that she accepts everything about Gin-san, but he represents strength. Since Tama doesn’t approve of his character, Leukocyte King is a completely different individual from Gin-san.


Well… I have the feeling that the road in the next ten years, in which I’ll have to continue with the unrefined “3”, will be very hard both for Gintama and for me…

I’d like to move forward with firm conviction, so that it doesn’t become a manga similar to that issue where it’ s not clear whether it wants to be a dancer or an “8”. That’s how I feel, so I promise you:

I WILL BECOME A DANCER!

New topic: “Thank you for supporting 30 volumes!”.




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Volume 29

Title: “A spider in the middle of the night is a bad omen”



Thank you for buying the 29th volume! Some time has passed in Japan since the previous one, and in the meantime the editor in charge has been replaced. So Mr Saito, a rugby player as romantic as a young girl, is leaving Gintama. He took care of it for more than a year, and since we had various things in common (the way we approached our work, impressive hobbies, a love of solitude, etc.) we immediately became friends and worked together having fun. But after only one year we were forced to change classes! Maybe it’s like at school, where when too many problematic brats gather they are split up the following year. Maybe the higher-ups thought a smarter kid was needed to help me grow up… and maybe you won’t believe it, but the hit man sent after him is Nakasaki, an intellectual editor, a graduate of the famous Tokyo University. He is 30 years old this year, like me, but he belongs to the elite, born into an elite family in which even his father is a graduate of Tokyo University. He ate rice with the elite three times a day! He grew up differently from me, who ate Chinese-style, unrefined rice prepared by my mother three times a day. He belongs to the elite! If he had moved to Nanamagari* police station, the chief would have surely told him, “Fine! We’ll call you elite from now on!” … A man like that may be able to form a pair with Officer “Chinese fried rice”, but they’ll never get along!

*Fictional police station appearing in the detective TV series Taoyo Ni Hoero.


And in this way, therefore, the ” Chinese-fried rice” agent ended up meeting the elite agent. There was a tip-off from Agent Utena (Saito) and the scum (Onishi) about the elite agent’s abnormal pride. I thought he was the kind of person who puts up a wall around himself and doesn’t easily detect his true nature, always putting some distance between himself and others. So I decided that I had to break down this wall, and throw Chinese-style fried rice at his face to create a relaxed atmosphere to facilitate conversation. So I broke down the wall of Agent ‘Chinese Fried Rice’, despite the fact that I am also tremendously proud, by approaching him… which is rare for me. After chatting for a while, at one point I asked him: “Do you belong to genus S or M, Mr. Nakasaki?” … Well, it was like throwing a jab at him! It was like saying, “I’m taking my socks off, so you make yourself comfortable!” … A jab to tell him to get off his high horse, asking a stupid question and pretending to be a fool. Then élite replied, “Hmm… I’d say more M, but in both categories both elements coexist, so you can’t generalize like that. Besides, I don’t really like a question like that, as a conversation in a gokon.

WHAT A DRAG TALKING TO AN ELITE!


I found an argument, and he said he didn’t like it?! What’s more, our elite man let slip: “Don’t think I’m the same as you fools!” …

Well, I partly understand him, it’s true that when I see a man and a woman fiddling around in a pub asking each other if they are more S or more M, it makes me think: “I’ll teach you what those with MS tendencies are like!”, but with him I found this argument even though I knew how he would react to making fools of themselves together forgetting his Tokyo University degree!

In such cases, instead of criticizing the joke, it’s more important that he eats a plate of Chinese-style stir-fried rice that the “Chinese-style stir-fried rice” agent with whom he will be working as a couple from now on has carefully prepared, and smiles… Even if the plate is smelly, filthy, attracts flies, there are peas he hates and it’s full of pubic hair!

DAMN ROTTEN MAN WHO BELONGS TO THE ELITE! I JUST WANTED TO SHAKE UP THE AWKWARD ATMOSPHERE! WHO CARES IF HE HAS S OR M TENDENCIES, OR IF HE CROAKS OR LIVES ON!


So, after a long time, I got angry… but actually the agent ‘Chinese Stir-fried Rice’ didn’t get angry there. Even though the rice was thrown on the ground, he stepped on it and said: ‘Ooh, as I thought, you don’t like it! To tell you the truth, I don’t like it either! Eh eh eh!” When such a situation arises, I feel great shame for the Chinese-style stir-fried rice I once served, because it was rejected big time! I make a face like I want to say, “That’s not mine,” and pretend I found it wrapped up in plastic wrap on the table when I got home from school, and threw it away saying, “Actually, I don’t want to eat that.” … Well, on that basis, I find it hard to get along with someone who belongs to the elite like him. If I don’t take him down a peg, he’ll annoy me at every turn!

Well, underneath it all, he’s a good person, every time he brings me food and he’s very considerate. But is it normal for him to turn up with a meat pie at the bloodiest moment just before delivery?! What does that mean? What is this annoying feeling I get? Am I Akage No An?! I don’t even understand how to eat that stuff! You should bring me Chinese-style stir-fried rice! So irritating!


That said, the special “One of the elite has arrived” ends here. Anyone who is irritated by this guy, and who wants to put him in the toilet, please write to the studio!

I await your opinions like: “Who cares about your Tokyo University degree, you moron! You ended up as the editor of Gintama anyway! Is that why you graduated from Tokyo University?”.

Until the next volume, goodbye! Ah, Mr. Saito, thank you so much for taking care of me!

New topic: “What’s the point of a meat pie? Imbecile!”




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Volume 28

Title: “It takes a certain amount of courage to frequent a certain stall”



Thank you for purchasing the 28th volume! This is the fifth anniversary of the work in Japan! I thought I’d only just started it, but it’s been five years since I began serializing it. Until recently, I considered myself a newcomer, but I’m in my thirties… Sorachi himself, that punkish mangaka who came from Hokkaido on the back of a dolphin wearing rags… Sorachi himself, who’s always irritated, has turned thirty! Up until now, even if I made a mistake or missed a deadline, I’d justify it to myself by saying it was natural since I was a newcomer… but I’m not that anymore, I’m a respectable middle-aged mangaka. I can’t justify myself in any way and I have to behave properly. In fact, I had been in this situation for some time, but I simply looked away from reality. I’d always have an excuse ready and tell myself that Sorachi hasn’t fully matured yet and since he’s in the developmental stage he can make more progress… But now, in my thirties, I have no hope and it seems he has no room for progress, does it? What should I do? I should come up with a new excuse… but thinking back I realised I had forgotten that I was wearing a very heavy T-shirt and cuff while drawing. Since I was doing it naturally, I forgot to tell you. You didn’t know, did you? It’s a suit of armour for training mangaka to temper their muscles with. I suppose you thought, “This guy can’t draw,” or “This story isn’t interesting at all.” It’s only natural, because the G nib of Sorachi sensei, that’s me, weighs a good ten kilograms because lead has been poured into it! Besides, my assistants are a multinational unit made up of French, Africans, etc., so we don’t understand each other. On top of that, they are heavy too, because they have lead poured into them! Their boss Jeff weighs about 560kg. In this situation it’s only natural that he can’t draw a funny manga, because Jeff weighs half a tonne! Nevertheless, Sorachi is working hard! And when he takes off that shirt and fires Jeff, who knows what he’ll show us…! His strength is immeasurable…! Think of it this way. And keep supporting me!


CONTACT WITH THE READERS

LETTER SENT BY H-DA FROM SHIMANE PROVINCE

I’m an eighth grader living in Shimane Province, and there’s a reason I’m writing this letter to you, sensei! In the same class as me, there’s a girl I like… I challenged her in exams, and the loser had to do what the winner said. Well, I lost, and she asked me to “take her to the two-dimensional world”. So I beg you to help me out, Sorachi sensei, since you are the author of Gintama, a manga that the girl I love likes so much! I know very well that it’s rude to ask you something like that, because drawing is your job, but could you send me one of your illustrations, sensei? Since I’m already in middle school, I can pay for it, even though I don’t have much money… Please help the love of a student you don’t know! If so, please send the drawing to my address! I’ve enclosed a thousand-yen note, which is all I have… Please accept it!

ANSWER:

H-Da actually slipped a thousand yen into my letter! Dear H-Da – or rather, H-Da! – I’ll tell you one thing clearly… I won’t draw anything, because it’s a nuisance! A thousand yen won’t even buy a sex DVD… You don’t have to make fun of a grown-up like me, H-Da! Grown-ups don’t move a finger for a thousand yen! You don’t have to rely on others! All you need to make a statement is your sincere and honest love for her. Try to face her without resorting to petty tricks. This thousand-yen note to me is just a piece of paper that you can’t even buy a porn DVD with, but you can buy a pretty flower and convey your love by giving it to her along with a letter. I will give you back the money, and there will be no need to write to her anymore, because she will have already understood your feelings by reading this page. Everything else will depend on you, H-Da! If she rejects you, write to me telling me all the details until you succeed. That’s enough, otherwise I’ll only feel irritated. Also, you don’t have to send me any more money, and I beg everyone not to do as he did!


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 74

QUESTION FROM MR MURAMATSU

My dream for the future is to become a novelist, and like you, I’d like to create something that makes people smile, Sorachi sensei! So here’s my question: Gintama is in its fifth year of publication, right? What’s the secret to this arduous longevity? I apologize for such an absurd question!

ANSWER:

I’d say the important thing is to have the intention to find everything useful… When you come across something interesting, a movie, a TV show, a conversation with others, if you can think “Ah! I’m going to create something more compelling than that!” You will find the right motivation! If you think it will help creativity, you will enjoy whatever you do.

However, even if it’s interesting, most things don’t come in handy, and I don’t even do much of anything, I often stay at home… I apologize for putting on airs and graces…


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 75

QUESTION FROM MR. FUJIWARA OF KANAGAWA PROVINCE

I always read your work and enjoy it. I’m asking you about something that’s been on my mind for a long time. In the 138th lesson, volume 16, why was Sacchan in the attic of Shinpachi’s house in the scene where Kondo… joined the ceiling after Otae’s kick?

ANSWER.

Ever since the episode in which a child appeared, Sacchan has suspected Gin-san and Otae of being intimate, so every now and then she even investigates the girl’s moves… she even plans to eliminate her by catching her in a moment of distraction.


Volume 28 ends here.

I once said that Gintama would end on the 30th, but, plain and simple, that’s impossible! I’ll try to make it happen, so don’t abandon me! Is it a problem if it’s a little over thirty volumes? If you throw away issues of Jump, you’ll quickly find room for the volumes. You don’t need a bookshelf, even in the kitchen… you can use the volumes for a cutting board, dividing them into two rows of fifteen. At this point, if you don’t collect them all, you won’t feel relieved, right? It’s like leaving your sideburns at the barber. Now… cut your sideburns once and for all! Treat yourself to a techno cut, you’ll feel better! Take care!

New topic: “It’s better not to talk nonsense”.


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Volume 27

Title: “When splitting a chupet in two, it’s better to have one of those with a kind of handle… Drinking it from there is also not bad at all”



Thank you for buying the 27th volume!

It’s normal not to have a single day of rest due to work between the end of the year and the beginning of the new one, but it was during that busy period that I worsened the situation by catching a cold. So I had to go through a bloody experience, surpassing that of the famous curse and the hell of making a self-contained work for Jump SQ. For a fortnight straight I had a fever of forty? I couldn’t think of anything funny. I even started thinking about my own funeral, afraid it might be covered on the news, and thought, “Maybe he’d read the Ayapan* news…”. Work wasn’t progressing and the deadline was looming, and my assistants also came down with a fever. With no other choice, I took antipyretic suppositories over and over again. Taking advantage of the short time when the fever broke, I proceeded with the storyboard and gave instructions to my assistants. Then, when the fever came back up, another suppository and off to storyboard. In short, it was like being in hell, my anus was slimy… I, Sorachi sensei, have been working since New Year’s Eve in tears, with a slimy anus, in order to give a smile to you who now hold this book in your hands. Seriously, I find it strange that the staff of Jonetsu Tairiku do not interview me. If I don’t have passion, who else? Who can better represent the continent? It would be enough to consider me a slimy continent! It would be enough to frame my slimy condition for thirty minutes, and insert Mr. Taro Hakase’s violin performance for the last suppository! What do you say, gentlemen of TBS?

*Nickname of journalist Aya Takashima.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 70

QUESTION FROM MISS NATSU, SAITAMA PROVINCE

Good morning, Sorachi sensei! The dog in my house eats its own p_op. How can I make him stop? I’m seriously troubled by this problem.

ANSWER:

There could be many causes: stress, education, environment… but whether you throw it away immediately or not is less important. Furthermore, you must always take him for a walk, at least once a day. Usually the dog will poop during a walk, so just have him do it then. Let the dog learn the pattern. Walk = poop! And of course you have to pick it up. If this doesn’t work either, ask a vet for advice. By the way… when did the pet advice corner start?


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 71

QUESTION FROM MR. PALE PINK SAMURAI OF KANAGAWA PROVINCE

Sorachi sensei, I’m writing to you for the first time. I can’t draw Gin-san’s eyes when he has them like a dead fish. Tell me if there’s any secret!

ANSWER:

You should leave some distance between the eyebrows and the eyes. Then you draw the eyelids heavy, and the irises only showing for the lower half.

When you shorten the distance between the eyebrows and the eyes, making the eyelids narrow…

It becomes Gin-san with a serious look.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 72

QUESTION FROM MR ‘UH AH AH AH! I’LL MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A STRAW DOLL!(S)”, FROM GUNMA PROVINCE

Happy New Year, Sorachi sensei! Despite the fact that I’m a damn brat who doesn’t know you personally, I ask you a question! Why does Yamazaki speak as an equal to Unosuke Harada, the commander of Team 10?

ANSWER:

BECAUSE THEY’RE FRIENDS.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 73

QUESTION FROM MR. “HUH? IS SPONGEBOB A SPONGE?”, FROM THE TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA

Sorachi sensei! What’s the point of the sash wrapped around Kagura’s older brother’s face? Does he have some kind of inferiority complex?

ANSWER:

It’s to protect themselves from the sun. When they don’t feel safe with an umbrella, the Yato use it to cover their skin. When he first appeared, Umibozu also wore it.


Having said that, just because I realized that Shueisha won’t even give me a day off even if I get a forty-degree fever, I realized one thing from this time’s bloody experience… next time I’m going to try hard to get a forty-one-degree fever! Until the next volume!

New topic: “Despite the author’s efforts despite a fever of 40 degrees, editor Saito, with a fever of 38 degrees, did not go to pick up the plates”.



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Volume 26

Title: “Sake drunk during the day tastes different”



Thank you all for buying the 26th volume!

In my studio there were originally three of us, myself and two assistants, but after five years the number of staff increased without my noticing and now there are seven of us… Since we are all men, when we are locked in the same room for three days, the amount of p_bic hair on the floor is not negligible, it is everywhere!

More than assistants, they are machines to produce p_bic hair. So far, more hairs have been lost than lines drawn on the boards! I vacuum them, or use a roller sticker, but they are popping up everywhere and I don’t know what to do about it, and they are increasing every year… As we get older, we don’t just lose hair!

Hair protects important parts of our bodies, but it falls out, and that really scares me. It is as if our bodies are condemning them to death. Their “children” (the penises) have no intention of defending them, even if they remain completely unprotected… I wish they would fall off too!

We don’t need that pen, the one in the right hand is enough! It is enough to let the hair grow on our right hand! This is how a mangaka lives!


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 65

QUESTION FROM MR. “IN THREE YEARS MY SAVINGS WILL AMOUNT TO ONE MILLION YEN”, YAMANASHI PROVINCE

I can’t hunt Rathalos and Rathian in the mayor’s emergency quest in Monster Hunter Portable 2nd G. Is a crossbow or a sword better? Help me!

ANSWER:

The moment you ask me whether it’s better to use a crossbow or a sword you deserve to be slapped on both cheeks! Listen to me, a hunter who switches weapons depending on his enemies is like a mediocre ramen joint that also has a curry dish on the menu. If you’ve decided to serve ramen, you must defy fate armed only with ramen, no matter who comes in, Kirin or Lao-Shan Lung.

You have to stay true to your initial intuition, therein lies the ethics of a ramen restaurant manager, indeed of a hunter! Of course, any weapon will do, but the best weapons are the conviction and pride of a hunter! That way you can defeat any enemy.

That said, the weapon to use is neither a crossbow nor a sword… but ramen noodles!


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 66

QUESTION FROM MR. “MAKE KAISHU KATSU APPEAR IN GINTAMA!”, TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA

Hello! I have a question for you right away! Watching the credits of the anime, I found the words “collaboration: Yu Saito”. This is the current editor of Gintama, right? (When Mr. Onishi was in charge of the work, it said “collaboration: Kohei Onishi”). How do they collaborate in the creation of the anime? Tell me!

ANSWER:

In no way! Every week, and at Shueisha’s expense, under the guise of a meeting, they drink together with the anime staff!


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 67

QUESTION FROM MISS MOA, TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA

Good morning, sensei! I have something that embarrasses me as a woman that I would like to consult with you about. The other day, I was watching TV with my older brother, and I turned to him and… he seemed to be touching himself there…! I panicked and thought: “What?! Just like the famous Mr. Onishi?”. Of course, I can’t tell my parents. Also, since my brother follows Gintama, both the manga and the anime, he should know about Mr. Onishi’s story… Yet he didn’t notice his own action! I think that’s why he can’t find a girl… What should I do, sensei?! I would be ashamed to point it out to him, you tell him something!

ANSWER:

Hey! Listen to me carefully, big brother! Before you touch yourself, wash your hands properly!


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 68

QUESTION FROM MS. OKITA-KUN LOVE PURIN, CHIBA PROVINCE

I have a question!

To write “Yorozuya” in Japanese, you would only need two ideograms: yorozu, meaning “everything” and ya, meaning “shop”. Why did you add the ideogram koto, which means “things” or “facts”?

ANSWER:

It was originally planned with two ideograms, yorozu and ya, but it might have seemed to be a “shop where they sell everything”. Instead, it’s an “odd jobs”, which is why I chose to add koto.


CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 69

QUESTION FROM MR. “IS IT TOSSHI? IS IT REALLY TOSSHI?”, FROM NIIGATA PROVINCE

Hello, Sorachi sensei! Here’s the question: what does Sadaharu eat? Regular dog food or something special?

ANSWER:

When you feed a dog the same stuff as humans, the poop gets stinkier, so I give it dog food, like a bag of it at every meal. Also, there are many things that are bad for dogs and not for humans. It’s fine to pamper your pets, but pay attention to these details! Especially grandparents who might secretly give your four-legged friends some incredible stuff, like squid tentacles!



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Volume 25

“The use of double page spreads is typical of Jump



Thank you very much for purchasing the 25th volume! Finally, the summit at Lake Toya was held! Inside I was hoping to sell a little more, but it didn’t turn out that way… even though the manager of a certain gift shop by the lake sent me this letter: “Thanks to you, the wooden sword is selling well!”. That is, fans of the work are buying the sword used by Gin-san! I was laughing my head off imagining a situation where the VIPs from the countries gathered for the summit, for example Bush, would show interest in the sword by saying, “What’s that? Beautiful blade!“, and once he learns about Gintama: “Cool! Cool Japan animation!“. And since he would repeat “cool” a lot of times, it would seem that in Japan he had only said that one word. Well, it’s true that the summit was against global warming, but in reality he would almost always have been referring to Gintama with the word “Cool“. In other words, even though Bush had come to stop global warming, he would have been warming up to the work in question! But it didn’t work out that way… except for the swords, which apparently sold quite well. It is said that Bush’s secret service bought them in great secrecy, taking advantage of work breaks. However, they didn’t take the ones marked “Lake Toya”! No! Apparently, they all went away happy and had ‘secret service’ engraved on them! Not only did they not advertise Gintama, but they also showed that they weren’t worthy of being agents, since they clearly revealed that they were part of the secret service!


The parenthesis on the Lake Toya summit ends here!

Anyway, it was not so good, I expected more from Bush… I should have put my trust in Sarkozy. I haven’t been able to show you the postcards sent by readers lately, but I will publish them in abundance from the next volume onwards… Goodbye!

New topic: “Surely Obama would have worked harder”.



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Volume 23

Title: “On a trip, almost everyone quarrels”



Thank you for purchasing the 23rd volume! About the haunted spa hotel saga… Strange things have happened to me since I started drawing it. My editor started thinking about a curse, and I was laughing under my breath saying. “Imbecile! People who are afraid of curses can’t draw manga, because mangaka kill a lot of people in their work. If any ghosts appeared, I’d use them as assistants, and even have them paint all the parts completely black!” Then, just as I was about to start preparing the boards, I suddenly came down with a fever of 39 and a bout of diarrhea that was not inconsiderable: I was secreting poop like laser beams! So I didn’t know what to do, and then my assistant phoned me and said: “I’ve got a fever. I don’t want to harm you, so please allow me to take time off work. I said, “By any chance… do you have laser beams?” He said, “Huh? You too?!” Then I phoned the other assistants and: “Excuse me, but I actually have laser beams…”. “Me too!” “Me too!” “Same here.” …in the Gintama studio, six out of seven people, including me, had laser beams, and they all got a fever the day before they started work! Don’t you think that’s great? Anyway, although we suffered, we managed that week, but we were trembling at the idea of a curse. After all, we had laser beams, which means… we all shit our pants! For six adults in their mid-twenties to poop their pants is an astronomical probability! That can’t happen. It happened to me twice… I barely made an effort to pee, and the laser beams went off. I was trying to resort to Mera*, and it was Merazoma**. It’s only natural that the MP becomes zero. I finished the boards with a zero MP. You can’t think of anything but a curse!

*First power level fire formula in Dragon Quest.
*Third power level fire formula in Dragon Quest.



So, consulting with each other, we concluded that Hideyoshi seems the most suspicious! Having drawn him as someone with poop-stained pants, ours were also soiled… or rather, we were the ones who soiled them. Anyway, listening to other people’s stories, I found out that someone was in danger of being run over by a tipper truck because of a flat tyre on his scooter, someone else had mysterious hives… In short, some pretty impressive episodes popped up, one after the other. So there was a lot of commotion, because everyone started saying that amulets had to be bought back. Since everyone in the studio started to lose their cool, I calmed my staff down, as well as myself, by saying: “Calm down! If you blame everything on the curse, you’ll never finish it! The curse is a kind of autosuggestion, so hang in there!”. I was actually scared… but I plucked up my courage and went to my desk. The fever still wasn’t going down, but I turned my life energy into MP. Then Editor Saito called me: “This is a big mess! I’ve been asking around, and it looks like Oiwa is the one to worry about, not Hideyoshi. This is no joke!” No one knows why he, who had no problems at all, became more afraid than anyone else and spread terrible rumours one after the other, causing panic in the studio. In the end he said, “Since I’m a bit scared, I’m going to get exorcised right away.” …

Hey, wait a minute! We should go. Nothing’s happened to you. You’re perfectly healthy. Your feet stink. Why are you going to get exorcised without bringing the author who’s drawing in spite of the fever? And what are you getting exorcised for? The smell of feet? He didn’t even wait for us to finish work, and he really went alone…


SORACHI’S Q&A: HANGING OUT WITH THE READERS 64

QUESTION FROM MR. DOYO, IBARAKI PROVINCE

Sensei! There’s one thing that’s close to my heart: in the original Japanese, Gin-san and his friends often use the word teme to refer to themselves. Why? Is there any reason?

ANSWER:

Teme is a deformation of temae. This word, temae, is also used to call the person in front of you with contempt, but it can also be used to show humility, as if to say “A modest guy like me” …


SORACHI’S Q&A: HANGING OUT WITH THE READERS

LETTER SENT BY MISS “I HATE CHOCOLATE, BUT I HAVE A SWEET TOOTH” (LEFT) AND PACHIMITTSU (RIGHT)

FOR THEM… I FEEL ONLY GRATITUDE!


That said, the special “We have all been cursed” ends here. Luckily for Saito, who went to be exorcised, the priest of a Shinto shrine said: “No problem! You have too much imagination!” So we stuck the amulet he brought us in the study, and the case of the curse was solved! Although I would have preferred Saito to be affected… too bad!
You too, don’t blame others by bringing up a bill just because something negative happened to you! And don’t forget to train your anal sphincter muscle!

See you in the next volume! Goodbye!


New topic: “Editor Saito be cursed”.



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Volume 22

Title: “We all have a driver in our hearts”



Thank you for purchasing volume 22 of Gintama!

I’m writing this space on Christmas Eve. Do you want to know why I’m doing it now that there’s a TV set next to me showing Akashiya* dressed as Santa Claus? Because I am lonely. I’m doing this because I’m lonely. Actually, I’m supposed to draw a self-contained episode for SQ, but I’m so lonely that my hand is shaking and I can’t stop the tears. It’s Christmas and I’m so hungry. But I can’t go and buy a ready meal from a convenience store, otherwise the shop assistant will think: “Ah! It’s Christmas, but this guy eats a ready meal from a convenience store by himself…”. If someone thought that about me, just at Christmas time, I wouldn’t be able to go and buy even a single umaibo snack! So, since I have no other choice, I’m working alone in the warmth of the kotatsu, eating a weird little steamed cake prepared for the Jump Festa by my editor. It couldn’t get any worse. The label on the cake was that of Gintama. I repeat, it couldn’t have gone any worse. A thoughtful cake… what does this little Christmas present mean? I don’t want a steamed cake to care about me! This thoughtfulness irritates me. On nights like this, I get annoyed by the kindness of a person, let alone a cake! Having said that, please give me your support again this year, even though I am behaving in this way.

*Sanma Akashiya, famous Japanese comedian.


SORACHI’S Q&A: HANGING OUT WITH THE READERS 60

QUESTION FROM MR. “SINCE YOU CAN’T SEE THE GINTAMA ANIME IN SHIZUOKA, I SEE IT ON DVD”, FROM SHIZUOKA PROVINCE

In this space, may I also ask you a question related to the anime? Who writes the subtitle of each episode? You can’t really tell even by looking at the overlays. Anyway, it has nice handwriting!

ANSWER:

It’s written by a man named Wakanabe, a Sunrise director. Apparently, he used to do calligraphy exercises, but he drinks so much he can’t draw a straight line anymore. He’s the very middle-aged man I once wrote about who said he could make love to Joe Odagiri.


SORACHI’S Q&A: HANGING OUT WITH THE READERS 61

QUESTION FROM MRS ‘A LITTLE ADVICE FROM A BUSYBODY’, SHIGA PROVINCE

Hello, Sorachi sensei! I’m a 49-year-old housewife, but I’m a big fan and I follow all the episodes of both the manga and the anime. There’s one thing that’s been on my mind since the beginning: the kimonos the characters wear are too short, aren’t they?

ANSWER:

Look at the young people walking around the city these days, ma’am! They all wear trousers that sag down, don’t they? It’s the same thing. In the world of Gintama, it’s fashionable to wear kimonos that are a bit short… You should have told me earlier!


SORACHI’S Q&A: HANGING OUT WITH THE READERS 62

QUESTION FROM MR “SOMEONE FIND ME”, AICHI PROVINCE

How are the questions to be published in these spaces chosen? Do you select the ones that seem suitable, sensei? Or is it just random?

ANSWER:

I choose them from those sent in letters and postcards, but I’m more likely to choose them from postcards. I read both, but when I don’t have a lot of time, postcards are faster.


SORACHI’S Q&A: HANGING OUT WITH THE READERS 63

QUESTION FROM MISS “HIDEAKI’S SISTER (HAVING NO OTHER CHOICE)”

Good morning, Sorachi sensei!

My parents got divorced because of my father’s infidelity. The other day, he sent me a letter saying he’s remarried and has a son named Hideaki. I don’t need to explain where the name comes from. He makes me laugh in many ways, and I feel a slight homicidal instinct towards him… what could you do for me, Sorachi sensei?

ANSWER:

HIDEAKI, GROW VIGOROUS…!


“I’ve read volume 21, which is the last of Gintama, and I really enjoyed it. I was almost thinking of sending an email with the subject line ‘AT HOME DO IT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT’, but let me say one thing… Onishi doesn’t touch himself there at all! He scratches or grabs his belly! Please understand the situation!”

This is the message in the New Year card sent by Onishi’s wife, in which she protests what I wrote. She tries so hard to convince me that her husband doesn’t touch his cock… Poor thing! Maybe she doesn’t know what her husband does outside the house. Men have a completely different face when they’re not in the family. Madam… I understand that you can’t, or rather you don’t want to believe it, but your husband touches a lot of things outside the house at will…

New topic: “Hideaki Sorachi’s very stupid advice”.

I will give advice on any issue. Marital problems, family problems, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems, etc…



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Volume 21

Title: “Even if you curve with age, stay upright!”



Thank you for buying the 21st volume! So, it’s been decided that Mr. Onishi, the Gintama editor I’ve always made fun of in these extra pages, will be working on something else. Please give him a round of applause as he is a hero for taking care of me for so many years despite all the letters that wanted him dead. I too have continued to insult him, but after more than a five-year period together I feel a bit sad. As a student, I was the type who couldn’t adjust to a new class, so I pretended to sleep on the desk for about a week. The sense was “It’s not that I don’t have any friends, I’m just sleepy”. So I’m very anxious. Just the thought of having to start all over again with a new editor, like in my school days when I was hoping someone would talk to me, gives me a kind of blockage. If he were as introverted as I am, I wouldn’t know what to do. If we both bent over the desk, we couldn’t have meetings….

I was thinking about things like that, but the other day I had a chance to talk about work with three of us: me, Onishi and my new editor Saito.


The new editor Saito is three years younger than me: he said he used to play rugby as a student, so he is a sportsman. He is also a dynamic and friendly person, with short hair and not at all introverted. I don’t think I’ll have any problem, if I ever bend over the desk he can try to tackle me… or so I thought, but then he said: ‘I used to play rugby but my hobby was reading comics for girls. I joined Shueisha to work for Non-no magazine (women’s edition)’. What kind of sportsman is he?!

According to Onishi, he’s a slightly effeminate otaku rugby player who loves special effects, anime and video games. In short, he belongs to the same category as me: an introvert. During the meeting, he was constantly picking his nose (I don’t know if it’s just a habit of his or if he felt awkward). He did it with such force that he almost looked like a miniaturist! Since he sticks his fingers in himself, he’s an introvert, right? Anyway, the fact that he likes cartoons is good, since he’ll be dealing with the Sunrise staff because of the Gintama anime. So I praised him by saying that maybe he’ll be able to compare himself on an equal footing with those who talk by quoting Gundam. But he replied, “Ah! I like anime, but I’ve never seen Gundam… I like Aoi Hiiragi.” A useless being!


Given the situation I feel anxious about the future. However I’m not the only one, the same goes for Onishi, who will have to take care of One Piece! During the meeting he didn’t speak much, and I noticed that he was very pale and had dry lips, terrified at the idea of meeting Oda sensei. Well, I understand, because of the fear it took me three years before I was able to talk to sensei. The first time I saw him from afar during the New Year’s party, Onishi urged me to go and greet him, but the aura he emitted was too much for me. Since I was about to faint in front of his energy, I ran away with a nonsensical excuse, like “He won’t know Gintama anyway… which will probably end soon.” … But fortunately the work survived, and in its second year, at Jump Festa, I met him again. I was told: “This time go and say hello!”, but I replied: “One moment! If I go now, I’m sure he’ll ask me why I didn’t go, because at this rate I wouldn’t have greeted him… and while we were talking, I passed Oda sensei in a corridor and greeted him with such impetus that my voice came out a bit falsetto: “Thank you for your work!”. Sensei replied, “Ooh, hello!” …

He mistook me for a Jump Festa staff member (laughter), and left without stopping. Then, this year, on the occasion of One Piece‘s 10th anniversary, I was finally able to offer him my sincere congratulations!


However, Onishi’s fear was more than natural, but his condition was terrible. Explaining the work to be done to your successor is the last task of an editor, but the second half of the meeting had turned into a kind of pep session for Onishi. Saito’s first job for Gintama was to push Onishi. Anyway, to avoid any misunderstandings, I’d like to point out that Oda sensei is a wonderful person, a really nice guy, like Luffy. It’s just that the aura he exudes is no small thing, and we caterpillars squirm scalded. That’s all. However, if sensei doesn’t have any problems, Onishi has a lot of them, so I can’t help but think that the head writer has lost his mind. Since this is the last chance, I’ll be frank: I think the rookie mangaka who have worked with Onishi may agree with me when I say that he touches his crotch during meetings.

Well, he doesn’t do it often, but he talks by touching it with a hand stuck in the zip of his trousers. Once I asked him what he was doing, and he said, “Well, my tummy itches.” And yet he was obviously touching his crotch! He was holding meetings on Gintama by fiddling with his kintama (i.e. testicles). If he did that in front of Oda sensei, a scandal would break out and he wouldn’t get away with just a Gum Gum punch! If Onishi was able to get away with a line like “I was putting in second!”, it would be a different matter, but he’s not that talented… they’d rip off his gearbox.




SORACHI’S Q&A: HANGING OUT WITH THE READERS #59

QUESTION FROM MR. SILVER WORLD

How many members do the Shinsengumi have? In the 33rd lesson it was written that eighteen individuals is more than half. Since the Shinsengumi is made up of ten teams, excluding espionage officers like Yamazaki, it appears that there are only two or three members in each team. Is it really 35-36 in total?

ANSWER:

They periodically recruit new personnel as the organization grows. In volume 19, Kondo was trying to go to his homeland because of this.

Currently, a team consists of about ten people.


Well, I used a lot of pages, but all in all I just wanted to say: “Onishi, thank you for taking care of me!”.

In these six years we’ve argued several times, and I’ve said and written rude things to him, but it’s thanks to him that I’m able to have wonderful experiences as a mangaka! I thank him for coming all the way to Hokkaido to drag me to Tokyo when I was still a beginner. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have been able to do it… I considered this city a den of demons. That time, before leaving, amidst the half-laughs of both of us, he shook my hand and said, “Let’s climb the pyramid together!” This memory sustained me on the threshold of a weekly publication. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it to the top, and I won’t be able to in the future either, although I will work hard to become a mangaka he can brag about by saying, “I was the one who raised him up!”.

Thank you for taking care of me.

But don’t touch your crotch again!

New topic: “Do this all you want at home.”



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