Thank you for buying Gintama 35!
Jump‘s readership has changed a bit lately… when I read fan letters, I see phrases like, “Lately your work has been getting published towards the end, don’t you think that’s something to worry about?” or “The anime is already over and you’ve left the safe zone.” … In short, there are more and more people who have blatantly read Bakuman and are familiar with the background of Jump‘s editorial staff… The “Bakuman Addicts”. But that’s just digging their heels in! Rather, how is it that they have so little faith in me despite the fact that I have been publishing Gintama for six years? Is this the reason why, despite the film adaptation, the manga is not considered brilliant? Anyway, I apologize for all these worries, but it’s okay. Gintama is fine, and it hasn’t even lost its popularity yet. At worst it may happen from now on. But that’s not what worries me… Quite frankly, the order of publication is of no importance. Except for the most popular work, the others move according to the magazine’s convenience: sometimes north to Hokkaido, sometimes south on a tuna boat. Before the north/south issue, the problem is that the ship on which Gintama boarded may have entered illegally! Gintama keeps violating the borders called deadlines! On top of that, despite having a mid-level popularity, its criminal career is top-notch in Jump, super S level with a bounty attached. It arrives a day later than the one who delivers before it… In short it is a chickenshit who every time crosses the border at the last with a slip. Being sent north or south doesn’t matter, because the fact that it has managed to arrive in the country called “Jump” is already a miracle. It is every time. And this is because, against all expectations, surveillance at the border is poor. For example, while the guards play with DS, I cross the border. Or, while they give Rinko* a kiss, I kiss the border and say “Kiss me, baby“.
The deadline is inflexible, but lately, the typography has been modernized, so it has been brought forward by a good five hours! The borders have thinned out and the guards, who used to be so nice, have turned into cyborgs that are not at all elastic! I mean, it’s like entering the gates of hell now, where they’ll shoot you dead as soon as they find you…
*Character from a DS game.
You may think it’s not such a big deal that the deadline was moved up by five hours, but in my case it was already a miracle to make it in time earlier, a miracle comparable to Yamcha killing the saibaman. Bringing it forward by five hours makes it equal to a miracle in which Oolong defeats Frieza, which is almost impossible! For Gintama these five hours were vital.
The other writers all finish a day earlier than me, so Frieza, ignoring the other warriors, including Goku and Piccolo, can come in and kill the pig that the scouter caught.
Kinda freaks you guys out, doesn’t it? It seems to be saying: Since the movie has already passed, we want to get rid of that pig that we don’t need anymore, dear Dodoria!
But I couldn’t let myself be killed without doing anything!
It was decided that Nakasaki Elite, with whom I had fought, would have to leave his post. Until then, we had worked miracles together, and to suffer a defeat at the end would be too sad. So to give him one last miracle, by undergoing three years of training in the spirit and time room with him, Oolong, that’s me, learned to transform into Yamcha! In the Frieza vs. Yamcha challenge, Yamcha doesn’t stand a chance, but still does everything he can, defeating one after another of the cyborgs in the guardhouse with the Wolf Fang Fist. Finally in front of Frieza, assuming the deadline at midnight, at that moment it is already 23:56. His right arm is broken at 23:57, and even the long hair he’s so proud of is ripped off; then Vegeta steals Bulma from him at 23:58; at 23:59 he is crushed by the pain of Trunks’ birth; then, the Wolf Fang Fist delivered in anger shatters Frieza’s genitals at midnight… The miracle has happened again! Yamcha savours the joy of victory together with Elite. But at that moment, behind them, the ground rises and something sticks to Yamcha’s back.
“Y-you are… a saibaman!”
The saibaman self-destructs involving him at 00.02.
When Elite arrived at the print shop, after taking a taxi and holding onto the boards, the hands of the clock were mercilessly marking two minutes past midnight. As I’ve written before, this time the deadline was not flexible… Even though it was only two minutes, since I, or rather Yamcha, had not kept to the appointed time, his defeat was decreed. Unfortunately, no miracle. “In the end I didn’t make it…”, so Yamcha let himself be overcome with despair. But in that moment he realizes that his body is unharmed, and that, beyond the smoke, he is slumped on the ground with his body torn apart. The instant the Saibaman exploded, he resorted to the supreme technique… a miracle in exchange for his pride: a written apology!
Having said that, in the end I gave élite a miracle, or rather a written apology… in the end he had to apologise in writing despite having graduated from T. University and despite having been a member of élite since childhood and never having been reprimanded by his teachers. In the teledrama Abunai Deka*, Taka and his colleagues are forced to write them, and the elite, who are not dangerous at all, had to do the same!
Anyway, I asked him immensely for forgiveness, but the attached poop doesn’t come off anymore. I apologize to élite and T. University! It’s not Elite’s fault, nor the university’s… nor mine. It’s all Yamcha’s fault! I told him to watch out for saibamen! How many times must that fool fall for it?! In any case, thanks to the deadly technique hurled by elites at the risk of their own lives, Gintama finally overcame his greatest crisis. Only the consequences were severe… For example, when I went to the anime’s conclusion party, as soon as I arrived, I was kidnapped by the editor-in-chief, deputy editor-in-chief, and the publishing house executives, and I was lynched for over an hour. While I was being lynched for over an hour, Elite was looking at me smiling… as radiant as ever.
Élite, I’m really glad I finally gave you an awesome present!
*Literally, “The Dangerous Police Officers”.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 92
QUESTION BY MS. YUI SORASE, KANAGAWA PROVINCE
In the 158th Lesson, to Yamazaki who came to brag about his new sword (the Osafune M-II), one of the Shinsengumi says: “It seems that for now the elegant samurai of Shibuya all have an Osafune!” … But with the Haitorei edict, can “elegant samurai” have a sword without any problems?
ANSWER:
As I probably described in the manga, even though the Haitorei edict is in effect, Bakufu officials are allowed to carry a sword. In short, I meant the stylish officials who have fun in Shibuya.
Well, the 35th volume special “Apologies to Elite” ends here. Forgive me truly for all the trouble, Nakasaki! Know that your written apology was not in vain. Your words were also imprinted on my soul, and I was able to take my revenge in the challenge against Frieza I faced with my new editor Jelly Belly Honda, a man who once aspired to be a novelist, and who arrived carrying his first work The Jelly Belly Over Paper! The deadline was midnight, but Jelly Belly came rolling into the printer at 23:59.
00:02 to 23:59! See how much I’ve matured?! I even took advantage of the minute I had left to pick up the jelly belly that had fallen out of my pocket with composure. That’s it, that tragedy will never happen again! I will never drop the jelly belly over the written apology! Nakasaki, I will perpetuate your miracle, and thank you for taking care of me, even if only for a short while.
Blessed be the elites and the university T!
New topic: ‘The jelly belly over the written apology’.
Yorozuya Shinigami 