Thank you for purchasing volume 75! The serialization on “Jump” has ended, but the situation is a bit complicated, so please read the commentary I posted there first.
Thank you to all of you who have been reading Gintama for fourteen long years! And then I apologize, because while it’s true that the work will be leaving Jump this week, it hasn’t actually ended. By the time I made it public that there were five chapters to go, the story was at the point of that gorilla’s wedding, and some of you probably thought, quite rightly, that it was impossible for the other gorilla to settle the matter in just five issues. On Jump it works that about six months before the end of serialization you have to officially declare to the editors the end of the manga, and then act accordingly. But Gintama has been wrong in its predictions for three years now. It’s a bit like someone who gathers his family together to announce: “I don’t have much time left, I have something to tell you before I die…”, but then immediately says: “Huh? Damn! Maybe it’s not my time yet!”, seeing the family members start clucking their tongues like a nervous tic, then he says: “I’ll definitely make it in August!”, whereupon the old man pulls out a cigar and starts smoking it like it’s Big Boss from Metal Gear 4. You don’t do that. Moral of the story, the weekly magazine issues will go on for a while, with a reduced number of pages, but since this little boss is die-hard, it was decided to eliminate him once and for all by dedicating more pages to him in a bigger space.
That said, the manga will continue – for a short while yet – in another magazine. Normally it should have ended in Jump, but it’s all my fault. I apologize. I’d like to take this opportunity to say goodbye to everyone who used to just take a peek at Gintama while browsing through Jump, and I hope you’ll keep up healthy habits, including buying this magazine even after I’m gone. But you’ll never have my legacy. And you, standing at this old man’s bedside listening to his long story, no matter how much you insist on keeping him company… I’m not leaving you anything either, because you are my legacy. See you again after the last chapter! 
Under the circumstances, I would like to specify that I prostrated myself with a pen stuck in my anus to write this page.
GINTAMA WILL CONTINUE TO COME OUT FOR A WHILE ON “JUMP GIGAAAA”!
A hemorrhoid has burst! That’s it, I can’t write anymore. In fact, since the work isn’t finished yet, I’ll be forced to write grasping the pen with my hand. Well, having said that, things have gone the same way as in the comment you read. To cut a long story short, since I had dragged it out to the point of exasperation, I could not ask for the umpteenth time to go ahead with the publication. In addition, in terms of physical performance, I had reached my limits and could no longer keep up with the weekly deadline. So I vowed that this would be the last time, that I would not give any more false alarms, and that if I just couldn’t finish… and here we are today. I know I’ll be branded for life as the “last chapter scammer”, even though I’ve never actually scammed anyone. It’s all the fault of the Gintama anime, which often promised the end. That’s why I had thought of ending the work in the most modest way possible, planning an inconspicuous escape in GIGA, but the editorial staff, perhaps out of concern for an old manga that had been coming out for a good fourteen years, started counting down the days in a loud voice, to say a grandiose goodbye to it at least at the end, and we all got hemorrhoids. (Secret move with which to soil the enemy by exploding a hemorrhoid: ⬇️⬇️ⒶⒷ)
Be quiet, you fools! If the work doesn’t end as you so loudly announced, Sorachi sensei might have a hemorrhoidal big bang! (Concentrated attack on the hemorrhoidal lump by the enraged readers: ↙⬇️↘Ⓑ)
“Please let me go quietly” I begged them, but there was no way. Maybe it was because there was a big publicity campaign for Gintama‘s live action at that time, so the news of the work’ end was also shown on the news and in newspapers. The fact is that my hemorrhoids (at first it was just a lump) got bigger and bigger.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 279
QUESTION FROM MR. “34-YEAR-OLD SALESMAN WHO REALIZED THE IMPORTANCE OF LOGISTICS BECAUSE HE COULDN’T READ JUMP ON MONDAY”, FROM FUKUOKA PROVINCE
Good morning, Sorachi sensei! I find that the most changed character, two years after the war, is Kagura (Yamazaki is no joke either). Who has been the easiest for you to conceive? And who had you tormented the most?
ANSWER:
The easiest was Yamazaki. Except for the face, it was my assistants who drew him, so all I had to do was say, “Draw Roboc_p.” There’s hardly anyone I had to torment myself over. Unlike the wart arc, here it’s a change that happened in “reality,” so no one changed that dramatically.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 280
QUESTION FROM MR. “34 YEAR OLD COMMERCIAL AGENT WHO WAS TORMENTED BECAUSE HE DIDN’T KNOW WHETHER TO USE A NICKNAME OR HIS REAL NAME”
Sorachi sensei, I have another question! Why does the “Odd Jobs Gin-chan” sign say “Gin-chan”? Only Kagura calls him that, but everyone else “Gin-san”… Am I right?
ANSWER:
I guess it was Gintoki himself who chose that name, but I think he failed in his attempt to come off as witty as “World-famous Yama-chan*”.
*Reference to “Sekai No Yama-chan,” a Japanese chain of pubs.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 281
QUESTION FROM MR. “CITY OF WHITE RABBITS”, TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA
Hello, Sorachi sensei. I’ve been following Gintama since forever and I often hear that it has a similar structure to Sazae-san. When, in Lesson 669, Shinpachi says, “Two years have passed since then,” does he mean that everyone has aged two years?
ANSWER:
Correct! The reason I suddenly moved time forward is because we are nearing the end. Since I became a mangaka because I felt lonely, abandoned by Pazu, Sheeta, and Laputa in the ending of Laputa: Castle In The Sky, I couldn’t end the work by leaving you readers alone. So I tried to push the story beyond the epilogue, ending up going beyond the last chapter. I hope you will forgive me.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 282
QUESTION FROM MR. “MAHI-TAIYAKI” OF TOKYO METROPOLITAN AREA
Lately it’s been happening more and more often that authors are showing themselves in public, but you never do, Gorilla Sorachi sensei… Why?!
ANSWER:
Well, as you say yourself, I’m a gorilla. Besides, I personally don’t like to look at mangaka’s faces, so I think it’s better for an author to remain anonymous as much as possible, so as not to get in the way of his manga. This is true even now that my work is coming to an end. Even if, right now, I see that Mr. Shinohara has uploaded on Twitter the photo of the gorilla in question, drunk as a fiddle… Mr. Shinohara is the author of Sket Dance. Be sure to watch out for shitty mangaka talking about fancy jeans on Twitter.
That being said, the volume 75 special “The Hemorrhoid Lump” ends here. When I heard the announcer Masu on TV saying, “Newsflash: the Gintama manga serialized in ‘Shonen Jump’ will end in five chapters!” I was speechless. I felt like I was listening to a totally absurd story. The story of a mangaka whose hemorrhoids burst from struggling desperately. I mean, it couldn’t be true! The fact that Gintama was ending couldn’t have been a news flash. I can’t help but think that the announcer Masu deliberately tried to destroy my anus. Even the newspapers write “Farewell Gin-san,” but it can’t be true! Whoever writes this has surely never read a bad manga like Gintama, they’ re just trying to say goodbye to Hideaki Sorachi’s anus, not to Gin-san! So I had to apologize properly, not to mislead people too much, and I decided to publish the comment I reported at the beginning together with the last chapter that appeared on Jump. I really don’t know how to apologize for the discomfort I caused you. To the boy who said “Wolf, wolf!”, in the end no one paid attention anymore. Who knows what will happen to the boy Sorachi… Will there be anyone left beside him? Will his hemorrhoids get worse? There, I’m in the midst of a crisis of disquiet. Although no one was there to hear him, the boy who said “Wolf, wolf” finally shouted the truth. I would want to be like him. So, I said hemorrhoids because it sounds good, but it’s actually anal fissures.
New topic: “It will go on but only for a while.”
Yorozuya Shinigami 