Until recently, in one spot on my head, I had a patch the size of a 10 yen coin that my hair wasn’t growing on. I had gotten a bump there as a kid, bumping into a bar while playing. Lately that area has been filled with white hair. They look like zombies to me. In fact, it’s really zombie hair.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 265
QUESTION FROM MR. MAGNOLIA, NIIGATA PROVINCE
Good morning, Sorachi sensei, I will ask you a point-blank question. You describe yourself as shy and unsociable, but you often have no qualms about teasing your editors. How do you get so close to them? Or perhaps you simply tease them without asking the question? Let me know!
ANSWER:
To this day, whenever a new editor comes in, I don’t feel like meeting him or her. This has also happened with the one currently in charge, namely Mr. Manabe. At our first meeting, I was confronted with a guy like this 
. I mean, if Mario ate him, he would die for sure. When he uttered his first sentence, which more or less sounded like “Nice to meet you,” I seriously thought the game was over. Anyway, for a weekly serialization, every week there’s a meeting where I generally talk about this and that for about three hours, so no matter how much poisonous mushroom I’m looking at, I inevitably end up befriending him, not before making sure the guy in question is still alive. He is an idol-loving otaku, the kind who attends meetups to shake hands. He even bought adult videos for a few hundred thousand yen on DMM’s website, and when he went to see a performance by a daringly dressed Masami Nagasawa, pretending to be there on business, he became so 
. His 
stretched so much that he could even kill two marios.
Even a rotten matango* has the right to live… You can’t disagree with that.
So, in summary, I’m making fun of them without asking anyone’s permission.
So, volume 73 now begins!
*Reference to the movie Matango.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 266
QUESTION FROM MR. FLOWER BLOSSOMED ON HEDORO’S HEAD, KANAGAWA PROVINCE
Hello, Sorachi sensei, I have a question to ask you about a matter that is particularly close to my heart. Kanko has traumatized his important parts twice: during his courtship of Kouka and during his fight against Utsuro. I mean, he literally squeezed them… I don’t dare imagine their condition! But then is Kanko’s Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Cannon capable of regenerating itself?!
ANSWER:
It’s not about a cannon, it’s about balls. With the first one, he crushed it to calm himself and keep his sexual desire in check, precisely while he was courting Kouka, and with the second one, he crushed it instinctively to not feel the terror his body felt in front of Utsuro. Basically, to silence the terror, he silenced the instinct of preservation of the species typical of every living being.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 267
QUESTION FROM MR. “IF THERE WERE AN ASSOCIATION TO WORSHIP SORACHI SENSEI, I WOULD LIKE TO BECOME ITS PRESIDENT”, FROM GIFU PROVINCE
Hello Sensei, I would like to ask you a question that has been on my mind for a long time: if you could become a Gintama character for a day, which one would you like to be? Tell me who you would choose and why!
ANSWER:
I would like to be either Sacchan or Tsukuyo and I would grope my boobs all day long.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 268
QUESTION FROM MR. “WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NEGIMAGURO AND NEGITORO*?, FROM THE PROVINCE OF SAITAMA
Sorachi sensei, good morning! I would like to ask your advice: when I criticize someone, I always misjudge my words and end up spoiling the atmosphere. How do you express criticism promptly without making a mistake, like Shinpachi does? I would love to become a professional critic like him!
ANSWER:
First of all, since your model is Shinpachi’s long-winded criticism, you are not suited for this role. Rather, use this extravagance of yours to immediately move into the role of the goofball!
*The first is a skewer of tuna and spring onion. The second is pounded tuna with spring onion.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 269
QUESTION FROM MR. “THE MOON AND THE SUN”, FUKUOKA PROVINCE
Hello, Sorachi sensei. In volume 66, a young Oboro claims that Shoyo didn’t teach him assassination techniques, however, when he allowed his master to escape from the clutches of his pursuers, he hits the rope tied to the trap with what looks like a kunai… So he must have learned at least self-defense techniques, right?
ANSWER:
Since Shoyo had taken Oboro under his tutelage, the boy, out of gratitude to him and to make himself useful in some way to his teacher, picked up the Naraku’s techniques and joined the organization. Shoyo noticed that Oboro was training secretly and therefore decided to leave the Naraku taking him along, because he feared that otherwise his disciple would take a bad path.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 270
QUESTION FROM MISS NOTHING, FROM SHIGA PROVINCE
I’ve always had a soft spot for Zenzo and I find it adorable that he’s a lover of ugly girls. From his point of view what is Catherine like?
ANSWER:
She’s an ordinary ugly girl.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 271
QUESTION FROM MISS “MARY & PENGUIN”, KANAGAWA PROVINCE
Good morning, Sorachi sensei. I would like to know how Sacchan ties herself, and also what kind of knots she uses.
ANSWER:
Because Sacchan is a ninja, her joints are particularly bendy. In addition to being able to assume very twisted positions, she can also origami a crane with her toes. So she is able to tie the rope around her body using all her limbs. In addition, she is, before anything else, a pervert, and therefore she can do all this while having fun. And we all know that you can’t compete with someone who does everything while having fun.
CONTACT WITH THE READERS: QUESTION CORNER 272
QUESTION FROM MISS MARIE, KANAGAWA PROVINCE
Why is Gin-san’s hair silver? How do you get it to be that color? Let me know!
ANSWER:
Simply color them with Copic B60 and BV000 markers.
That said, the volume 73 special “I didn’t get permission to use the poisonous mushroom, but it’s okay if I wrote things like that assuming they would be approved, right?” ends here.
But yes, there will be no problem, because it’s all true. Speaking of editors, I got an email the other day from Onishi, my first editor. His address has changed from the time he was in charge of me and has become “one piecega ichiban~~”*. I deduced from this that the guy will live long. Well, see you in the next volume!
New topic: “He who is meaner lives longer. This is the law of the world.”
*Literally “One Piece is number one”.
Yorozuya Shinigami 